The Biggest Thank You: Gratitude Beyond Words
Episode Summary
In this deeply moving episode of The Cancer Project podcast, host David Raubach sits down with Janet and Keith, the British grandparents of Leo — a boy who received proton therapy at the Oklahoma Proton Center as a one-year-old, ten years ago. Janet and Keith have returned to Oklahoma City from their home in Romsey on England’s south coast as part of a two-week family reunion trip, joining Leo, now 10, his sister Hattie, 13, and their parents Abby and James. The visit is the family’s way of delivering what Keith describes simply and powerfully as “the biggest thank you” — a phrase that gives this episode its title.
Leo’s cancer journey began at four months old when a diagnosis shattered the euphoria of a new grandchild’s arrival. The family moved quickly through the UK’s NHS system — referred immediately rather than placed on a waiting list — progressing through chemotherapy, radical surgery, and eventually a recommendation for proton radiation therapy that was not yet available in England at the time. The NHS funded the family’s travel to Oklahoma City, and Janet and Keith dropped everything, including full-time jobs, to be there. Keith recalls the pivotal moment when Abby hesitated, worn down by Leo’s suffering through chemo and surgery; it was Keith who told her plainly: “If it was you, there’s no question you’re on that plane tomorrow, because if you don’t do it there’s a possibility it could come back.”
Janet and Keith played a carefully calibrated supporting role throughout Leo’s treatment — never overstepping, but always present. While Abby and James took Leo to his proton and chemotherapy appointments, Janet cared for three-year-old Hattie, doing “fun, normal things” like letting Hattie try on shoes from her collection. Keith took meticulous notes at every medical consultation in Bristol so that when Abby and James came out overwhelmed, there was a written record to return to and a list of follow-up questions ready. Keith also reorganized the family’s transatlantic flights to eliminate a seven-hour layover in Detroit that would have been brutal with a baby and a toddler. These practical contributions, they explain, freed the parents to focus entirely on Leo.
The episode is rich with anecdotes from their time in Edmond, Oklahoma a decade ago. A stranger at the community pool, realizing the family was English and there for cancer treatment, returned within an hour with toys for Hattie from her own garage. A man undergoing proton therapy for prostate cancer, initially despondent, was paired informally with an upbeat 11-year-old girl from England with a brain tumor; she transformed his outlook so completely that his local motorcycle chapter organized a Harley-Davidson parade led by the county sheriff in her honor. These stories illustrate what Janet and Keith call the “large family” feeling of the Oklahoma community — and of the Proton Center itself, whose staff still remembered Leo on the day of this recording.
Ten years on, Leo is a thriving 10-year-old who plays cricket for Devon’s county junior team, performs in stage productions — memorably playing the pantomime dame “Widow Twanky” in a pink wig — and approaches every challenge with what Keith calls “vigor and enthusiasm.” Hattie wins vocal competitions at regional festivals. Janet and Keith close the episode by articulating the entire purpose of the trip: not to sightsee or even primarily to see Oklahoma City’s AAA baseball team, the Comets, but to return to the place that made all of this possible and say thank you in person. David Raubach reflects that the staff at the Proton Center left the visit visibly “rejuvenated” — a reminder that positive outcomes matter as much to caregivers as they do to families.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode
- Pediatric Proton Therapy: Leo was just one year old when he received proton radiation at Oklahoma Proton Center, demonstrating that the technology can safely target tumors in even the youngest patients.
- NHS International Referral: The UK’s National Health Service funded the family’s travel to Oklahoma because proton beam therapy was not yet available in England at the time, showing how specialized cancer care can cross national borders.
- The “Pea in Jelly” Explanation: A Bristol oncologist explained proton precision to the family using a vivid analogy — proton beams can hit a single pea inside a block of jelly, stopping precisely at the tumor rather than causing collateral damage on entry and exit as conventional radiation does.
- Caregiver Role Clarity: Janet and Keith describe a deliberate strategy of supporting without taking over — handling logistics, note-taking, and sibling care so that Abby and James could remain fully present as Leo’s parents.
- Note-Taking at Consultations: Having a secondary family member attend appointments purely to record information — rather than to participate emotionally — allowed the family to review exactly what doctors said and prepare follow-up questions, a practice the Proton Center actively encourages.
- Community Support Beyond the Clinic: Total strangers in the Edmond community provided toys, food, and kindness to the family unprompted, illustrating how a cancer center’s positive culture can radiate outward into the surrounding neighborhood.
- Patient Peer Connection: An informal bond between a discouraged prostate cancer patient and an optimistic young English girl receiving treatment at the same time completely changed his attitude — and led to a Harley-Davidson parade organized in her honor by a local motorcycle chapter.
- Concurrent Chemotherapy & Proton Therapy: Leo received both proton radiation at the Proton Center and chemotherapy infusions at the children’s hospital simultaneously, with the half-hour infusion protocol in Oklahoma far less grueling than what the family experienced in England.
- The Role of Hope: David Raubach wears a “hope” bracelet from a fundraising event as a daily reminder that providing hope — through smiling faces, songs in treatment rooms, or engaging lobby activities for pediatric patients — is a core clinical responsibility, not a luxury.
- Long-Term Outcomes as Staff Inspiration: The Proton Center team who remembered Leo as a baby were visibly moved and re-energized by seeing the thriving 10-year-old he had become, underscoring the importance of follow-up visits for caregiver wellbeing as much as for patients.
- Family Diagnosis Framework: Keith and Janet articulate what the Proton Center teaches: a cancer diagnosis does not happen to a patient alone — it happens to an entire family — and care systems must extend support to grandparents, siblings, and the broader circle around the patient.
Janet and Keith’s return to Oklahoma City ten years after their grandson Leo’s proton therapy is a testament to the lasting bonds forged inside a cancer center — and to the quiet, indispensable work of grandparents who organized flights, took notes at medical appointments, and kept a three-year-old entertained with shoes so that a young family could focus entirely on healing. Leo’s story — from a one-year-old in treatment to a county cricket player and pantomime star who approaches life with unstoppable enthusiasm — is the very outcome every team at every cancer center works toward. If you are a caregiver, a grandparent, or anyone walking alongside a family facing a cancer diagnosis, this episode is for you.
Full Transcript
Read Full Transcript
David Raubach: Hi, my name is David Raubach and I want to thank you for joining us on today’s episode of the Cancer Project podcast. We’re really fortunate today to wrap up our conversations with the family that came over from England to revisit Oklahoma Proton Center after their son and grandson and brother went through treatment 10 years ago for a pediatric cancer. So today we’re going to talk to a very important part of the family — the grandparents who were very supportive of little Leo as he went through treatment as a one-year-old. We are here with Janet and Keith. Thank you guys so much for joining us today. Thank you for being here in Oklahoma.
Keith: Pleasure.
David Raubach: You guys got into town a couple of days ago, and I think one thing you said is it was a little bit of a shock how hot it was when you got off the plane. How are you adjusting?
Janet: Well, actually Keith and I have been down in Naples for a month, so we came over a month early and played some golf down there, then flew from Tampa up to Dallas. The timings worked perfectly — we got off the plane and 10 minutes later we met the family. That was just incredible to all meet up again after 10 years. But you’re right, when you get off the plane the humidity is just overwhelming. Though it’s so nice that you wake up every morning and the sun’s out, and that makes you feel better. And we went to the Oklahoma Comets baseball game on Sunday — Dodgers affiliates. That was our only opportunity during the two weeks we’re here, so we thought we’d take it in.
David Raubach: And so tell me — where do you guys live in England?
Janet: We live on the south coast in a small town called Romsey. We’re about a two-and-a-half-hour drive from Abby and the family, but we still get down to see them or they come to see us. In fact, when we get back we’ve got a week at home just the two of us, and then Hattie and Leo come for their annual week to stay with us.
David Raubach: For those that maybe didn’t catch the first two episodes — Hattie is 13, she’s the granddaughter, and Leo is 10, the grandson. Leo was treated at the Oklahoma Proton Center about 10 years ago here in Oklahoma City. Tell me a little about what it was like coming here to Oklahoma. That was obviously a big adjustment for everybody, but you guys came over for a period of time to support the family.
Keith: You have the euphoria of a new grandchild being born, and then at four months old the shock of an illness — the shock of that illness being confirmed as cancer. That word just motivates a horror, a worry. But the treatment Leo got was splendid in that his doctor didn’t refer him to the hospital — he sent him. So we didn’t have four or five weeks to wait. As James alluded to in your earlier conversation, within a very short period Leo was on chemo. Being such a small child, that didn’t take hold and he had to have the radical surgery. And then when radiotherapy was suggested, there was no doubt it had to be done — belt and braces, you had to do everything. We were given the option to come here via the National Health Service, and it was just wonderful. We dropped everything. Oklahoma, here we come.
Keith: Today we’ve been to the graduation service, and there was a common thread through all the people who had experienced their treatment — clearly they had all experienced that fear and worry that I’ve just described with Leo. But the Proton Center has this ability to take that fear away and make the journey not a horrendous one, but a journey with understanding of the problem you’ve got, with hope, with smiling faces and welcoming. It’s a journey remembered almost with — I won’t say happiness — but not the fear that it was at the beginning.
David Raubach: I think hope is a great word. I have this bracelet here — I got it at a fundraising event and it has the word “hope” on it. I wear it as a reminder of what our mission needs to be at a cancer center. Different patients come in with different diagnoses, different potential outcomes, different journeys. But our responsibility is to provide hope, whatever that looks like for every patient who walks in. And what did you find yourself doing, or maybe telling yourself you needed to stop doing, as your family and your grandchild went through this process? As a dad I imagine your natural propensity is to want to jump in and fix everything — how did you approach that?
Janet: One hundred percent you want to fix everything. I think all you can do is just be there for them in whatever way they need you. Previously Abby had talked about having to take Leo to the hospital, so someone needed to be there to look after Hattie. We love spending time with them, so it was a real privilege to be looking after either of them. And you never give up hope. It’s a very scary process and journey, of course, but you never give up hope. You trust in the doctors, you trust in the process. You cross everything — and here we are, 10 years later, with all our prayers answered really.
David Raubach: When you talked about taking care of Hattie — she was three at the time — were you almost stepping in as a substitute mom to a certain extent?
Janet: No, not a substitute mom. She didn’t need that because Abby was always present. But just doing fun, normal things with her. I love shoes, and so does Hattie, so she’d be in my shoe box under my bed trying on all sorts of different shoes. Just doing fun things, trying to entertain her really. But she was entertaining us as much as anything.
David Raubach: You said that you’re “Nan Jan” — and having met Abby and talked to her, you’re right, she is a supermom. To handle everything going on with Leo and continue to be a full-time mom to her three-year-old — she’s certainly an inspiration.
Keith: You can’t take over — you want to do as much as you can, but it’s the parents who have got the immediate problem. You have the ability to step back and think: that perhaps needs to be done, or that perhaps needs to be organized. When we went to the initial hospital appointments in Bristol, we made sure we went along. There was the emotion and the worry that the parents had when talking to the doctor. We were sitting in the background taking notes of what was said. So when they came out and asked “What did he say about so-and-so?” we had the list — he said this, he said that, and here are the questions to ask at the next appointment. You made the maximum of each appointment so you knew exactly where you were. If you’ve got the information, it reduces the worry.
Keith: We live two and a half hours away, so we weren’t there on a daily basis the way Janet’s mom was — she gave immediate daily support where necessary. But when it came to administrative things, or coming out here to Oklahoma, we tried to organize wherever we could and just take that little bit of pressure off. Just coming along and being able to change his nappy and change his bag — that’s enough for Abby on any given day. What time we had to be at the airport or when to catch the next plane — that was our responsibility.
David Raubach: There was so much in the way of logistics and planning, and that’s somewhere you could jump in and help. I really like the note-taking story because that’s something we actually encourage at the Proton Center. It’s often really helpful to have somebody besides the patient taking notes so the patient can focus on talking with the doctor, and then know that somebody else is writing it all down, because you get inundated with information.
Janet: It’s overwhelming. There’s so much information to take in, so many questions you want answered. Some can be answered, some can’t. A couple of days later you think, “What was it that doctor said?” and you can look back. And Keith would make a report and send it to the other family members so everyone was kept up to date as we went along.
David Raubach: That takes such a huge burden off the family because so many people want updates. And that’s something we talk about a lot at the Proton Center — we spend so much time focused on the patient, or for a pediatric patient the parents, but then there’s this extension: how do we support the caretakers and the broader community that forms around the patient? Because a diagnosis doesn’t just happen to a patient — it happens to a family. What was it like coming back to the center for the first time?
Janet: Overwhelming. You can feel your heart beating when you walk through the door. Even the smell of the place brings back memories. But of everything, I think it’s the people — the staff there are just so kind and make you feel so at home, as they did 10 years ago. That certainly eases the journey. And the friends we made in Edmond were just really super kind — they’d make us food, chocolate cakes. All of that helps.
Keith: And we took Hattie to the pool to help her learn to swim, and there was a lady there. I don’t know why, but she realized we were English — it must be the way we talk — and asked why we were here. We told her and she just said, “Oh my goodness, Hattie hasn’t got any toys. I have a grandchild who visits me, I’ve got toys in the garage — where do you live?” And within an hour, Hattie had toys and things to play with. That’s just one example of what we received. Wherever we went, if we told the story, it was just welcoming. Like a large family. It’s fantastic.
Keith: And Leo — as her royal highness says — you are not just a recovered person, you’re a stronger person. Leo has just got stronger and stronger as he’s gone through life. Everything he approaches, he approaches with vigor and enthusiasm. He plays cricket — and not just plays it. Devon is a county, and he’s in their junior team. He’s on the stage at school, he’s singing — whatever he does, it’s with enthusiasm. You can’t knock the kid back. He smiles.
Janet: We may be biased, but he is just such a gorgeous little boy.
David Raubach: I’ve spent a day with Leo and I would attest to everything you’re saying just from that one day. What’s another memory you have from your time in Oklahoma 10 years ago?
Janet: Not such a good memory was having to say goodbye when we had to leave after the first month — we were both still working full-time so we had to get back. I remember being at the airport and we were all in tears. That was a tough day. I also remember Leo at the hospital just smiling so much. He was all hooked up to wires and goodness knows what else, but he just kept smiling. Everybody loved him, as we all do.
David Raubach: I looked at Leo’s intake picture from the Proton Center from 10 years ago this morning — and he had a big smile in the photo that was part of his medical record.
Keith: When you’ve heard — Nikki White, she came out today to see him, and the girls from the back rooms as it were came out as well, and they all remember him. It’s just amazing that he made such an impression. And as you said, for older patients wondering what life is like after treatment finishes — you see Leo and he’s 10 years on. It’s inspiration. We saw that the last time too, because there were other children from England there at the same time and they seemed to buddy up with the older patients. One lovely man had prostate cancer — the world was on his shoulder, “why me” — and he was paired up with a young girl from England, about 11, with a brain tumor. She was optimistic: “I’m having treatment, I’m going to do this and that and the other.” It lifted him completely. He changed his attitude. They formed a great relationship, and their one shared interest was motorcycles. He was part of the local Harley chapter, and on one occasion he arranged for them all to come and see her outside — they put her on a motorbike and took her down to the Harley-Davidson dealership, with the sheriff leading the convoy. That was a relationship that grew out of adversity but benefited them both.
David Raubach: So proton therapy — Leo goes through chemotherapy in England, then surgery, then is still on chemo when at some point the doctors say “We’ve exhausted our options here. We have to send you overseas.” What were you thinking at that point?
Keith: I remember that well because I was sitting next to Abby. I think she hesitated because she didn’t want Leo to suffer anymore. The chemo was enough. The radical surgery was drastic. And me as Abby’s father, I said, “Look — if it was you, there’s no question you’re on that plane tomorrow, because if you don’t do it there’s a possibility it could come back. But if you go, you’ve done everything.” So it had to happen. A shock, a worry — but do it.
Janet: It’s daunting to think you’ve got to fly across the world and have this treatment when you don’t know quite what to expect or how it’s going to go. But it was absolutely the right thing. One hundred percent.
David Raubach: Were you thinking “What is proton therapy? Why do we not have it in England? Why is it right for Leo?” Talk a little about that discovery process.
Keith: I think, as Abby alluded to, you trust in the doctors, you trust in what they’re telling you. And the doctors at Bristol explained in detail the difference between the conventional radiation machinery they had in England — a big beam that does damage on the way in, does what it should do, then does damage on the way out — versus the precision of the proton beam. They said you could hit a pea in a block of jelly. It would stop and do only minimal damage around the area affected. That was a simple explanation, but it was like — okay, that’s what’s going to happen. That took away the worry. And then Nikki was the liaison officer, so the flights were organized, the house was sorted — you think, well, that’s all being done. We can take note of that.
Janet: We reorganized the flights as well. There was too long a stopover in Detroit — and with a baby and a three-year-old, we didn’t want to be sitting in an airport for seven hours. So we rearranged the routing. That’s what we mean by sorting out the admin so Abby and James didn’t have to worry about that. And when he was here, Leo had appointments both at the children’s hospital for chemotherapy — a half-hour infusion, much simpler than the full-day sessions in England — and at the Proton Center. All the staff at the children’s hospital were just super kind. There was a big notice in the waiting room: “Your time is as precious as ours — if we’re keeping you waiting, do tell us.” Not that they ever did keep us waiting. Just superb service.
David Raubach: It is a big adjustment — immersing yourselves with two whole new sets of doctors, the radiation oncologists at the Proton Center and the medical oncologist at the children’s hospital, all at once. Have either of you had experience with cancer in the family before this?
Keith: First time for me. My father had prostate cancer but he died of something else after an operation that didn’t go too successfully. But no — touch wood — we hadn’t had much experience before Leo.
David Raubach: Cancer does tend to impact everybody at some point — whether with a family member or, God forbid, themselves. Pediatric cancer is especially rare. As a father, what were the conversations like with your daughter after Leo’s diagnosis?
Keith: Clearly there was shock — we all suffered the shock. We were clearly sympathetic to their plight. But there was a reassurance that whatever it took to support them, that support would be forthcoming and immediate. We hopefully didn’t intrude, but they knew we were there. There was a shoulder to lean on. And that’s all parents can do. The huge feeling you have for your daughter was also lightened by the fact that she has such a supportive husband. James was an absolute rock for Abby, and continues to be so. Both of them working in the NHS — Abby as an occupational therapist and James as a physiotherapist — they had an awareness and a support team as well.
David Raubach: You guys have an amazing family, and that really is what it takes to get through something like this. I do have one more question — what’s a highlight from the past year with Leo and Hattie?
Janet: Oh, that’s easy. Seeing them both on the stage. Hattie has the most superb voice, and Leo is a fantastic actor. When they’re on the stage they give it 100%. Both have been in roles with an amateur dramatic society — not just for children but alongside adults. They did “The Sound of Music” and “Nativity”, and they both sang their hearts out. It gives you a lump in the throat.
Keith: And Leo was in his school pantomime and had to play Widow Twanky — a lady who runs a laundry. He came on stage with a pink wig, a colored blouse, what appeared to be a bra with socks in it, and some trousers. He absolutely wowed the audience. That was magic. And Hattie wins cups at vocal festivals — she sings solos in competitions. They’re both so brave. You couldn’t be more proud.
David Raubach: I can tell you guys are super proud of your grandkids. My last question — because we did ask the grandkids, and James and Abby — what are you most looking forward to over the next two weeks in Oklahoma City? And I will allow you to say Whataburger or Raising Cane’s, as Leo suggested.
Janet: I’m with Abby — I’m not looking forward to the roller coasters! But it’s a bit cliched: I just love spending time with our wonderful family. Just being here with them is enough.
Keith: I just love driving the biggest cars you’ve got. Being a bit of a motorhead, you know. But really — spending time together, reliving everything. The house we’re renting is very similar to the one from 10 years ago, which brings back memories. We work as a team and we’re preparing a new photo book — just as we did last time. We’re revisiting some of the same places, recreating photographs. Leo was sitting on a table at Whataburger 10 years ago; this time he was on our lap. And we got him today on the leather seat in your reception at the Proton Center, because he was so little back then. Reliving it in a happier, more joyous way.
Keith: And can I just say — the purpose of this trip really is: things are bigger in America, and we want to give you the biggest thank you.
David Raubach: Thank you so much for saying that. You guys are an inspiration to us. I’m so grateful for the time to talk with you because we walk into that cancer center every day, and sometimes the daily grind can be hard — the treatments can be hard, seeing what people are going through can be hard. Getting to visit and see such a positive outcome for your family, seeing everyone together — I promise you the staff today was rejuvenated because you came into the facility. It’s going to be a little bit different tomorrow having had Leo and the rest of the family there. So thank you guys for coming.
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