Transcript generated from the episode’s automatic captions. Speaker names are not identified, and automatic captioning may misspell names and terminology. Please refer to the video for the authoritative version.

I want to thank you for joining us on today’s episode of the Cancer Project podcast. We’re very privileged to have Brooklyn Hawkins here with us today. She is a pediatric cancer survivor. um she was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 17. Um and is doing great today and has actually went on to found uh her very own not forprofit to give back to other teenagers going through cancer like she went through and we’re going to talk about that today. Um so we’re very excited to have Brooklyn on. Yeah. Thanks for having me. I’m really excited. Yeah. So you said this is your first podcast.

First ever. Okay. Yeah. I’ve never done anything further than an interview. So Okay. Well, that’s okay. And are you nervous? I’m really nervous. are you very you’re going to do great. Um I’ve read some of the stories that have been out online about you and um you seem like an amazing person. Well, thank you. Um so we’re very excited to talk to you. So kind of take us back a little bit um just so we can get to know you um before your cancer diagnosis. Talk a little bit about just where you were at in your early teens and what were your life goals and where were you going to school?

Just what was life like for you when you were 13, 14, 15, 16? Right. So, I played soccer my whole life. And so, that was kind of what I was leading up to going into my senior year of high school was I was kind of focused on soccer, trying to decide if I wanted to play soccer in college and also just trying to figure out what I wanted to major in. I also was like those my two hobbies were being on team boards for different nonprofits and admitted Oklahoma City and then playing soccer. That was kind of like my two biggest things that I did.

And so, kind of just planned on like studying nonprofit work. I kind of knew that probably since my junior year of high school that that’s what I was passionate about and that’s what I wanted to do. But um soccer was still kind of up in the air. And so I really started struggling in soccer physically. I could just couldn’t keep up anymore like during preseason going into my senior year of high school. And so I kind of had to make a really hard decision on what that was going to look like for me. And it was very defeating because I had never really struggled physically that bad before.

I would say mentally I I thought it was just me. I had no idea that there was anything really going on with my body. And so I kind of just had to bite the bullet and decide, okay, well, if I can’t even keep up, you know, the rest of my senior year, that’s not really going to work for me in college. So changed my path I feel like in August of my senior year. So right when school started, I was like, okay, well, I’m not going to start a season that I’m not going to be able to finish. I couldn’t even go to practice. I had fevers.

I started having fevers every day on top of, you know, not doing well on fitness tests. I was I couldn’t breathe and I just thought I was out of shape, but I really was like doing my summer workouts. I was doing everything right. So I was like, okay, not meant to be. I was a little bit defeated, but I was kind of just trying to refocus that energy to be like, “Okay, well, I love Oklahoma State. I knew I loved that school. ” And um if I wasn’t going to play soccer, that’s where I wanted to go. That was my plan B. So, just dove into that and kind of just forgot about soccer and was like, “I’m just going to have a fun senior year, focus on, you know, all these nonprofits that I do stuff with.

” And I was just kind of like, my dream was always like, “One day I’m going to start my own nonprofit,” which was really mind-blowing that that was even a dream of mine. Um, but in my head I was like, one day when I’m 40, I’m going to start a nonprofit, you know, and make a difference in something and that’s going to be like my life’s passion. And so was going through my senior year having so much fun. I was heavily involved in my school with student council and leadership and everything like that. Um, but I had fevers every single day. Kept going to like urgent cares here and there.

I thought maybe I just had a bug or had this. Was getting misdiagnosed with like little things. Even if I was testing negative, I was just getting treated for stuff like that. I just didn’t even have. So that was rough and I just I feel like it made me start I started gaslighting myself. Like I started being like, “Okay, well maybe there really isn’t something wrong with me. Like I don’t know what’s going on cuz I just trusted doctors. I’m like the opposite of a hypochondriac. So the last thing I ever thought it would be would be cancer. It’s not a genetic thing in our family.

So that was like the last thing on my radar at all. But I had swollen lymph nodes. And so every time I would go to the doctor, I’d bring these lymph nodes up and I would be like, I really want these gone. And I thought they were benign cysts, which I’ve had before. for I got my wisdom teeth out. I had a cyst. Um when I was like a little girl, I had a cyst like up in my neck area and I had I had one of my swollen lip nodes was here and then I like they would kind of come up in my armpits, but I had a really big one in my neck and I was like great, another one.

It’s my senior year. I don’t want to have surgery and have another cyst removed. So that was kind of like my first red flag other than having fevers every day. I didn’t know what caused that. But as silly as it sounds, didn’t think much of it. I would just kind of take fever reducers every day and go to school with fevers. I would have fevers. I’d be out with my friends and be like, “Oh, got a fever. I got to run in my car and get medicine. ” So, it kind of was a normalized thing. And after about 2 months of that, um September is when I finally started going to the doctor and being like, “Okay, I need a new primary I my pediatrician retired.

I was like, I need a new primary care doctor because this lymph node’s really starting to bother me. Like, that is visible. Everything else you can’t see. That’s visible. I don’t like that. ” And so, finally, my new doctor was like, “Let’s just do a scan on it just to be safe. ” um it’s probably just reactive because you’ve been sick like you you say you have all these fevers um you’ve just been sick and I had fevers daily every single day for over a month um and we just didn’t think anything of it um because of all I just kept getting misdiagnosed but yeah didn’t have any answers and then finally when I got that scan I believe like October 5th or something maybe the like just the the first week of October I got a scan and it was also like this was super crazy um but my nurse at the hospital that I got a scan was a current um chemo patient.

Okay. And I just remember that that kind of like made me uncomfortable during the whole scan. Like I literally had to like hang upside down so that the lymph node would bulge. But I just remember like my nurse that was like helping me with like the ultrasound and the scan on like my whole upper body was like I had to wear a mask. I had to wash my hands before she could touch me. And I just was like that just was like something that in hindsight I look back and I’m like that was crazy cuz I was like thinking like I almost felt so sorry for her.

I was like, I can’t believe she has to work during all of this. Um, and so few days later, literally how I found out is I came home from school and both my parents were home on like a Friday afternoon and it was senior year, so I like had the afternoon off from school cuz I was like in concurrent classes and I was like, “That is weird. You guys should both be at work. ” And they they literally like they were like told me to sit down. This was a crazy day. They told me to sit down and they were like, “We got the results from that um CT scan and ultrasound and my chart says that it’s lymphoma and I didn’t know what lymphoma was.

” So my immediate reaction I was likeoo good thing they figured out what that was. Like let me know y whenever I’m going to the doctor like just let me know what medicine do I have to take. Yeah. I was like and my mom was like well it is a form of cancer but like you know there’s there’s like oral chemo. Like there’s so many things we can do like don’t panic. And I was like I’m not panicked. I don’t know what that is. I don’t care. I was like, I gotta go. I literally, ironically, had an event at Citizens Caring for Ch children that day and I was like, well, I got to go to my event.

Like, you know, we did stuff with foster kids that day. It was like my whole jam. I was with all these nonprofits. And so, I was like, well, I got to go to my event. Um, so I just go to my event. I’m like, not I literally didn’t think about it. I don’t know if my brain just did not sunk. The word cancer never sunk in. Um, so I go to my event. I’m like having fun. You know, me and my friends are doing stuff with like foster kids. That night, I don’t think anything of it. I come home. Next day I go to work.

I worked at Surf Bar in high school. I go to work and I’m like I like Surf Bar. I was like, “Wait a sec. ” Like I literally found out I had cancer yesterday and I was like, “This is so weird. ” And like I remember my co-workers were talking about like we were like talking about anxiety or something. And I remember being like, “I don’t know if I have anxiety, but my chest always feels so tight, but I don’t think I’m anxious. ” Yeah. And they were like, “That’s weird. That’s anxiety. ” And I was like, “No, like my chest feels so tight, like I can’t breathe.

” And I was like, but I did find out yesterday like there’s something like a cold lymphoma that I have. Oh my god. And no one knew what it was. So it still was just like, okay, whatever. And then that day when I got home from work, like Saturday afternoon, like I literally found out on a Friday afternoon. And that Saturday afternoon, my mom was like, my mom works at U Health. Okay. Um she works in data analytics, another miracle along my journey that I never had any idea about in the at the time. But I got into Children’s Hospital with my doctor in the Jimmy Ever Center that Monday.

And there was like I don’t even know how long of a wait to get in with him. So that really was like a beautiful thing. But again, I was just like I don’t know what’s going on. I don’t have time to think about this. Yeah. So I’m like not scared. Go through Sunday. I go to church. I’m hanging out with my friends, my boyfriend. No big deal. I’m like I got to go to the doctor tomorrow. Still kept all of this a secret from my friends. I know I’m really diving deep into this. you can cut this little part out. But this whole little story is like there’s like funny like there’s humor in it because of how just I like naive I was.

But yeah, that Monday I go to the doctor. Um and that whole week of school I was out and I just told my I my friends were like, “What are you doing? ” I was like, “Got a new doctor. ” Like you all know I’ve had these fevers. I don’t know what’s going on. So I meet that doctor and he’s like, “Okay, we’re going to have surgery tomorrow. ” And I was like, “Okay. ” Wow. And I I’m still just like, “Okay, whatever. All right. whatever you got to do. So, I meet my surgeon that next day. Um, had surgery, had a biopsy, um, got the biopsy results the next day.

So, by that Friday, met my doctor on Monday. So, within one week, I had my plan for treatment. I had my biopsy. I had my plan for treatment. And then, so I got that whole treatment plan that Friday, one full week, seven days later, had a treatment plan. That’s when I was still kind of like, whoa. Like, this is going to be this is crazy. Like, I’m a cancer patient. Yeah. Like, what? So, I was like, “Well, I probably should tell my friends now because I’m going to miss a lot of school next week because I have another surgery. ” Yeah. Because I couldn’t have a port because I had Hodkins lymphoma, but it was I als they called it like Bulky’s disease.

It was very like a lot of it was up here in my chest. Um like around some, you know, main artery and that’s why I was like getting dizzy a lot. Um, and then I also like a lot of it made sense. I had a lot of it in and around my lungs caused my breathing troubles. Obviously had fevers, had swollen lymph nodes, all the red flags, all the signs, sensitive skin, I would bruise easily. I was like, “Whatever. ” Um, but I was like, “Okay, well, I should probably tell my friends. ” So, I I figured out I was going to have s that surgery to have a pickline because I couldn’t have a port.

It was just dangerous in that area. So, I had a pickline from my arm just run up to my heart. And I was like, “Okay, well, the day I Oh. ” in the same they were like great same day same day they did my pickline they were like while she also couldn’t be asleep for any of my surgeries I remember all of them that was like unsafe somehow okay which was creepy and eerie because I would like wake up and it would like gross me out like there’d be like a stint in my leg and I would just like get really grossed out by that um but I was awake for them so I remember them and I [clears throat] was I I guess like during surgery I was just like not shut up I talked the whole time which is probably really annoying to them but they thought it was funny but they also did a bone bone marrow biopsy that same day, which came back clean, which was a miracle, another miracle.

But when that came back clean, my pickline was in that day, I wrote a little letter to my friends, and I was like, I don’t want to see them be sad because I don’t even feel anything yet. So, I’m definitely going to make sure I’m not scared. And if I see them scared, I feel like I’m going to feel like I need to be scared and panic. So, I was like, I’m going to write a letter, and I’m going to explain to them what is going on, and they can read that while I am out in surgery, and then I’m going to come back and they I need them to act normal.

That’s what I wanted. I wanted everyone to treat me normal. And so I wrote them a letter and I basically was like, “This is what’s going on. I have cancer, but if you guys get scared and panic, I will push you away. I need you to be normal because that’s what I need. If you want to be in my life, if you want to be a part of this, like I I know it’s going to hurt you guys, but I need you to be normal. ” And my friends, like I saw them that evening again, same day as my surgeries. I’m like, I go to FCA at school.

So I’m there that evening. I was I just did so many things that you could just tell I was so na like I should have been in bed. Yeah, I couldn’t walk, but I was at FCA that night and I literally like couldn’t go downstairs. So, cuz I had bone marrow biopsy, my hipbones. Bizarre. So, they I get there and I like they’re like just all like they don’t know how to act around me. So, they’re just trying to act normal, but I can tell they’re like all so scared deep down, so sad, but they were great. The whole time they acted normal. They treated me normal.

They never made me feel like I was sick, and that was what I wanted the whole time. So, that’s how everyone found out, and I think that’s when the journey started. So, and then I started chemo. You’re going to these doctor’s appointments and presumably the doctors are kind of like describing what’s happening. Were you like were you just like, “Well, my mom is here and she’ll like pick up whatever important information that they’re saying. ” I mean, absolutely. I I fully Was it registering what they were No. And they thought like my doctors like I think laughed at me several times because they were just like it was almost a beautiful thing.

I think me being naive was a beautiful thing. And I learned a lot about the younger children too. And teenagers normally because you have the brain to understand what’s going on to you. You you immediately normally you feel something. Whereas I was like walls are up. I’m not feeling I don’t I don’t want to feel anything yet. You had goals and aspirations. It’s your senior year. You’re doing all this volunteer workump. Yeah. This is just a little bump in the road. I’m not letting this stop me. So I was very naive. Um but they thought that was funny. Like I think they liked to see that because I had a lot of energy about me.

Yeah. And they knew like they knew what was going on in my body. They saw the scans. They saw the results of everything. So they knew that it was I didn’t feel good. Yeah. But to everyone else I was like ray of sunshine energy ball of energy like never lost my personality which was unseen with teenagers I think at Children’s. So yeah, it’s easy to go into depression with something like that. Yeah. So, did you get on Google? Like, did you do the the natural thing and like get on Google Doctor and read all of the worst case scenarios or like how did you kind of navigate?

I think the only Yeah. No, the only thing I looked up was what it was and how it works and the survival rate. Yeah. And then I was like, I got this. Yeah. again very naive because then and I and maybe there was like was there a little bit of relief because you were like okay now I finally know why I’ve had all these fevers and like so it’s like okay now I now there’s a plan to tackle this absolutely I definitely felt very validated which again like helped me with that confidence and being like this is how I’m going to handle this because for a long time I was like oh my gosh I’m I feel crazy like I know there’s something wrong I’m sick of having fevers every day I can’t breathe is there like I don’t I’m I look like an athletic girl.

Like, is there something going on? Like, I I don’t have asthma. So, I was just I felt so validated and I almost I think would use that as like a scapegoat sometimes and be like, “Well, at least there was something wrong. ” Yeah. Yeah. It was cancer. Yes. At least there was something wrong. I wasn’t just going crazy. Yeah. So, you uh So, you was chemo the first treatment then? Yes. Okay. I had four rounds of chemo. And what was that process like? Okay. Cuz you lost your hair. I did very fast. Didn’t expect that either. So I I donated my hair the day, you know, you can’t start, you can’t donate it when you start chemo.

So I donated my hair the day before chemo. My hair was very long. I was very attached to my hair. Um my hair was like to my butt and I donated a foot. So I donated 12 inches. So my hair and my hair is still pretty long. It was like to here, but I just thought that was so fun. Um it was a good way for me to like let go of it in a healthy way. Um, but I started that first week of chemo and I I that’s another thing I probably was like had the most questions about was how am I going to change physically because I never wanted to look in the mirror and not see myself, right?

So, I was like, okay, first thing is hair. Normal people don’t lose their hair for another month or two. I was like, okay, I got a couple months with my hair. But, so I was like, let me start warning everyone that this is about to happen. So, I was like, I’m going to lose my hair, y’all. But it’s okay. But I’m going to lose it. It’s going It’s not going to all go like right now, but eventually I’m going to lose my hair. I just want to like prepare everyone, which was also me preparing myself by telling others, right? Um, and then my first week of chemo hit and my rounds of chemo were 21 days each and I had four of them.

So, basically I had eight rounds of intense chemo, very intense. And that eighth day was always like a double dose of everything. Okay, so super super intense. And then the way I liked the way basically the way I thought of it was I had eight days of intense chemo and then the rest of that 21 days I just had to survive. Okay. So that because I was so healthy, like the way they explained it to me, I had so much healthy bacteria in my gut and like I was an athlete. I had just like so much going for me. My immune system had all this healthy these healthy germs that keep me healthy.

So then when chemo hit, it was like all that turned against me and basically like my body was like trying to kill itself is what it they kind of explained to me in the terms they used. Um and so I was like well literally that eighth day of chemo, the first week of chemo I was like I can do this. Like it sucked. I had neuropathy. That was like probably the worst side effect just cuz I was like, “Okay, I’m I can’t stand up. My feet are numb. ” Yeah. But um other than that, like my side effects were very manageable that first seven days, but then that eighth day um is when everything took a turn.

Every single round I was hospitalized on the eighth day of chemo. Really? Wow. Yes. Overnight hospitalized. But that first we didn’t know what to expect at all. So that first eighth day, we went home and I remember like I was like very sick. Never threw up though. I thought that was going to be my worst symptom, but it wasn’t. Um, but I just was like very sick. Um, like very dizzy, kind of like very p like in and out. And so, um, but if I had a fever, I had to go in and I was like, “Oo, I don’t want to do that. ” So, I better keep those off.

And they were like, “Do not take fever reducers. ” And I was like, “Y’all don’t know, but I’ve been taking fever reducers for 3 months. This is a bad habit to break. ” But, um, I got a fever and I was hospitalized. And I I mean, I was unconscious for a few days, but I was in the hospital for I think the rest of that round. Wow. Um, and I literally finished. They weren’t even sure if I was going to be able to start round two on time because I finished that. I like finally was like awake and conscious and there still heavily on I don’t even know how many things happened.

I mean, I had all kinds of different infections and stuff that were happening and I was just not there for any of it. I was just in so much pain that I think I just had so much pain medication all the time, which also scared me. I was very afraid of pain medication. But um they did good with pain management. But I honestly like that was probably the scariest round was the first one um for everyone else because they had to see me like that. And I just remember whenever I was fully conscious I was bald. Oh okay. Yeah. So so I lost my hair.

I lost my hair like that first two weeks. Okay. Wow. Which was bizarre. But again another kind of miracle and I didn’t see it at the time was I didn’t have to slowly pull my hair out and watch my hair fall out. It was kind of a blessing. It just happened and I woke up and I was like, “This is the new reality. ” Yeah. So, I like go back to school and I’m like, “Okay, starting round two. Sorry I didn’t text all of you guys back for the past two weeks. I’ve been asleep. ” Yeah. Um, but yeah, [clears throat] that first round was really, really scary.

When you went back to school and now it’s obvious that you’re a cancer patient because your hair’s gone. You can’t hide it at that point. Everybody at the school knows. Yes. What do you How are you kind of processing that? like I use humor. Okay. I would just wear a beanie. Um it was also October, November, December, like through throughout my chemo. So my head could not get cold. Like I was so physically sensitive. If if I got cold, I literally got a fever and I was like I am not getting a fever cuz that means I got to go back to there and anything I like I wanted to break.

If you get a fever, they put you in the hospital. Yes. Okay. And I was like I will not get a fever. I was like no. So I just would wear a beanie, keep my head really warm. But at first, you know, when I lost because I lost my hair so fast, it was completely blistered and gross and painful when I woke up and I just remember being like, “When did that even happen? ” Like I don’t remember. And then like I see pictures like my mom would try to document everything that happened. Especially when times got scary, she would document everything, take pictures of everything, everything they gave me, how much blood they gave me.

And so like I remember she even took a picture of like how much hair I don’t know if I ripped it out or whatever, but it was all in the trash can at the hospital. So all my hair was just gone like that. Yeah, which I think was just another sign like my body was just that that first round of chemo hit me like a truck and I’m lucky I survived that one. That one was probably the worst. So the So you you’re doing that first one and then you’re kind of thinking ahead. I’ve got three more of these. Like what what are you thinking at that point?

I don’t think it really hit me until my last round that that it was like I don’t know if I’m gonna survive this one. Yeah. Which was like nothing I would ever admit out loud. This is probably the first time I’ve even ever said that. But I’m okay with it now. It’s important to me to like talk about the truth of that. Um, it is relatable to others, but I could never let anyone see me scared, which was a lot of pressure as a teenager. But, um, that was my whole brand was not being scared. Everyone thought I was so brave. So, I really had to like make myself believe that, too.

But, there were days you were scared. Absolutely. I mean, there was days where like I just remember like like my third round I was trying to do anything on that. I went home that or my second round even I went home on that eighth day and I was like I’m not going to go back today. I’m going to do everything I can to not go back today. Like because you know I feel like the common cons like people assume there is like a side of I think something when it comes to cancer that people believe there really is that mental aspect. I believe in that but there is like a certain extent to where like I can want to stay home as much as I can and want to survive that round as much as I can but how much is my body going to allow?

Like there is that disconnect. That’s such a confusing concept. Yeah. Um like obviously it does affect your body if you have negative thoughts all the time. And so I was trying to like have positive reinforcement, but those scary times would get me down. And I think that really the only people that saw me in those dark moments was my family. Okay. Yeah. What was how was your family processing all of this? And and and tell me about your family because I know you have an older sister. Yes. I have two sisters. I’m a middle. Yes. I have an older sister, a younger sister. Both soccer players.

My older sister’s a nurse at Children’s Hospital now. Oh, okay. Yeah. My younger sister is in nursing school playing soccer at Northwestern Oklahoma State. So, okay. Both took the same route. I I almost took that same route, but um they my sisters were absolutely amazing. I mean, I was on a emotional roller coaster, especially when I started, you know, they started putting me on medications that were going to affect my moods and, you know, my hormones and things that like genuinely affected the way that I acted. Um like they were so patient. Um, my parents were like rock solid and I think honestly like brought my family together cuz we were kind of all in it together.

Um, everyone was scared. Everyone like wanted to be a part of our journey, but I think my family really felt like closer. Yeah. During all of it, which was different. I think we we had we even had family conversations about how sometimes when tragedies happen like that, it can tear families apart so fast. And I think we came to the understanding like everyone just wants what’s best right now. And so I think that mindset helped us from the very start. So you did the four rounds of chemo and then you did radiation after that. Yeah. I was very heartbroken about that. Okay. I wasn’t supposed to do that.

Okay. That was not the original. Why did you have to do it? Um the chemo didn’t do every I thought after the chemo. So going into chemo they told me I was going to have four rounds 21 days each. I just had to survive that. And they were like this is going to this should work. Like this should work. We’re going to keep in the loop but like this should be all you need. And I was like, I’m going to make it to that finish line and forget about this forever. I was like, okay, perfect. 20 21 days each. I got this and then I’m going to be done and I’m literally never going to think about it again.

So, I get to that finish line and that fourth round is when I really start to get down. And I’m like, get to the finish line. I I already I got hospitalized, too. But I still was just like, if I make it there, though, I’m done. I’m done. I make it to the finish line. I have my appointment and I’m like, great. I’m going to get my pick line out. Like, I’m done. People can stop seeing me as sick. I’m going to start looking like myself, feeling like myself again. And I literally like they literally were like, “You’re not done. It wasn’t enough. ” And in my head, my immediate thought was like, “Then why did I almost die four times?

” Right. Right. Like I assumed that that meant, “Well, if it’s killing you, if it’s killing my body, give me enough if it’s killing my body, why did it not kill all of the cancer? I didn’t understand the scientific reasoning behind that. ” And so they were like, “We’re going to, you know,” they tried me on proton therapy. I only did like two sessions of it because stuff kept going wrong with it or something. and I started to lose my patience at that point. So, I got moved to Stevenson. Um, and I I started to lose my patience. I was like, “You guys told me I was going to be done in January.

I’m ready to be done. I’m not I’m not going to spend my entire senior year doing treatment. So, I’m I I kind of like almost gave my parents an ultimatum. I was like, I need to be done before spring break, right? I need to be done. I I I literally was like, you I don’t know how you’re going to like motivate me to go to treatment after that point. ” I don’t know why that was like the point, but I was just like, I want to spend the last two months of my high school experience. It’s your senior year. You get one senior year. Absolutely.

Absolutely. And I felt like I already missed out on so much. So, I really I was like, I’m going to be so present and I’m not going to be able to be present if I have treatment every day. So, at Stephvenson, um, proton therapy wasn’t going good. Something was wrong. My treatment plan was not working. And so I only got like two to three proton sessions within the span of like three four weeks, like over a month even. And so so maybe they were having issues like I think they were having issues or something, but I was like, they’re going to you guys need to figure that out.

And so my parents really fought for me on that. Um like I said, my mom had connections and that was like really amazing. Like we had people to talk to and questions to ask, but they changed my treatment plan completely. Made exceptions for me. um which I I I felt guilty about at first, but in the moment I was like so happy to like be getting through it. But they would open the treatment center o early for me every day. So every day at like 6:30 a. m. before school, I would go cuz again, always wanted to go to school. If I was not in the hospital, I was at school.

I was with my friends. Um and so they would open the treatment center early for me every single day. And I squeezed all my radiation between, you know, this time frame. And I finished the day before spring break. Oh, okay. Yeah. So, which is crazy. I don’t know how they made it happen, but I think my mom was like really fighting for me on that. Um, and it was like, “You’re going to get this done because she’s done. She’s going to be done. ” Right. Right. So, I literally finished the Friday before spring break. Um, and then what did you do for spring break? I went to the beach.

Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. I went to the beach with my family. Um, they like planned that probably because I was so crazy about like I’m done after that. Um, and it was just kind of a little celebration. Go to the beach. Yeah, I was like, I need to get out of here. Um, but yeah. So, uh, one of the things you talked about because you this is like a really unique experience because you’re 17 or and when when’s your birthday? Like, did you turn 18 through this process? I didn’t turn 18 until July after my senior year. July after. Okay. So, you’re pretty young. Yeah.

You you’re rushing through school and rushing through treatment. Yes. Uh, but there’s not that many kids. Like if you’re in Oklahoma City and you’re at Children’s, I mean in a sense you’re not really even a child either. So like talk about that dynamic of being almost an adult, but then you’re there at this hospital with like three and four and 5year-olds. Were there other teenagers? I didn’t see them. Um rarely. It was I think that’s what changed my life the most was the time period it happened to me in. And that’s why I was able to like do something bigger with like all the pain that I experienced was because I saw that difference.

Um it was a beautiful thing. Not beautiful, but like such a bittersweet thing to see like all the little babies and kids running around whereas I’m sitting there and I know that we are all slowly dying. I know that we’re dying and that we’re basically getting we’re sitting there getting pumped full of poison and just hoping that it kills the cancer before it kills us. Whereas these little kids have no idea. Yeah. And that was just so beautiful to me just to just to see them like almost like having a good time there. Um and I just knew that all the other teenagers like me didn’t have the ability to have that headsp space.

Yeah. Um and so that’s where I was like I felt like I lost my voice. I didn’t feel understood because I had no one to relate to. Right. And that’s why I started in the middle of a miracle whenever I finished. Um I I wanted to do something for teenagers cuz I was like that was crazy. I got treated at a children’s hospital. I got treated at an adult’s hospital. The difference between the two is absolutely mind-blowing. Yeah. Um at a children’s hospital, environment is different. Um they want to make everything feel different. Um feel feel pretty, feel beautiful. Um just a happy environment whereas at the adult hospital, everyone there knows why they’re there.

Okay. Yeah. And it was just everyone was sad. No one was happy to be there. Yeah. Um it was heartbreaking. Like I mean even at the adults hospital I remember I was the youngest person in that building. Yeah. So going from like being the oldest here to the youngest there I was like I’ve never even heard anyone places you you don’t really have spot stood out. I never had even heard anyone speak on that before. And I was like I I have all this attention on me. And like I said I never wanted anyone to look at me like I was sick, pity me, feel bad for me.

So I was like I just need to turn all this attention into something that I care about. That’s how I’m going to cope. So, did you did you try to connect with anybody else online? Like Yeah, I met a I actually met I’m gonna give her a shout out. I actually met Ava Parsons. She goes to OU and she like has a really big impact in the childhood cancer community there. Um I met her through Art with a Heart, which was a hard event for me to go to because again, we’re the oldest kids there. That was an event that they host every year. It’s a beautiful event.

Um, and like the cancer patients all make a piece of art and people bid on it and then all the money goes to research and like all these amazing causes. Um, I met her there and I just remember we kind of like I met her and I was like, whoa, someone else not just super having the most fun here ever. Like everyone looks at us. We’re basically like not even that much younger than some of the people that are like donating money. Um, that’s not a fun feeling. But um yeah, I I I remember connecting with her and that’s the first time I was like, “Wait a sec, like there’s others.

” Yeah. That I can talk to. And so talking to her was very validating. And then I slowly started to meet a few more. And I met What’s ironic is I met a lot of people outside of Oklahoma that reached out to me. They found me on social media and reached out to me. Okay. Cuz you you were talking about your journey on social media. Yes. Well, kind of. I I wasn’t open about obviously all the medical details. that part. No one knew. To this day, people don’t even know how scary it was sometimes. Yeah. And I liked it like that. Yeah. Um they have no idea, you know, anything medical related.

They just know I survived, which was cool. But um I made a lot of Tik Toks. Okay. I used humor to cope. And I made a lot of funny TikToks making fun of myself. Yeah. Yeah. And that’s how people found me and started reaching out to me. And so like some of them really started blowing up. Like people thought it was so funny. Like I was just like I was bald and I was like I’m not going to be sad so at least I can be funny. Yeah. So I just made a ton of Tik Tok. There’s a massive community out on Tik Tok uh cancer talk if anybody is uh looking to try to find that.

We talked to a lady last week actually from California who really I met her on Tik Tok because she was just sharing all these videos. She got diagnosed when she was 28 and she was pregnant. Oh my gosh. With her first kid. And so she’s having to navigate and that was another kind of unique scenario where she’s like there’s I didn’t have anybody initially to talk to who was pregnant with their first like that’s hard enough. Yeah. And then going through cancer. Yeah. So it’s interesting because you talked about wanting to move on like let’s be done but then you started a charity a cancer charity which is like the complete opposite of moving on.

So what changed and what was kind of the motivation behind starting the charity and then tell us about in the middle of of a miracle. I would say the reason is going into it I had no idea how many it was like all eyes on me. Yeah. I didn’t really realize that until the end when it was like thousands of people were following along and I was like I don’t even know that many people. So it was crazy like people from out of state were following along. So, I didn’t know that until the very end when everyone was like really cheering me on and I had the mental capacity to like look at social media and see what everyone was saying.

Um, and my TikToks obviously blew up, but to me that was just like a silly little side quest I had. It was just kind of a fun way to cope and make people laugh. But, um, when I started to realize that, my high school also did something really special for me. Carl Albert High School has a philanthropy week every single year where they like choose a person in the community. Um it’s different than other high schools cuz they like to choose someone like an actual person or an actual family that is in Midwest City, Oklahoma and make a difference in whatever that looks like for them.

Like I know in the past they’ve given like minivans for you know families that need a disabled car for transport. like they just do very special things and throughout the whole school year of course no you know I was the 100 nominations for me and at first I was just like I didn’t feel like I needed that as much as other people yet and so I really was like I don’t know about this and I it started to get real though whenever I was like the only nomination and everyone was like no like your family needs this and so they raised like they like set a record raised almost $100,000 like small 5A school um in Midwest City, Oklahoma, raised like almost $100,000.

The only way I agreed to it is um I donate I told them I wanted to donate 20% of whatever they raised. That was the only way I was going to be okay with it and comfortable being in the spotlight like that was if I got to donate 20% to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society because I know they fund so much research. Um I got to do Light the Night with them. I’ve done a lot of stuff with them. They’re amazing. So I wanted to donate to an organization I knew was doing stuff for people and so trusted them. I gave them, you know, we raised, I think, maybe 93, $94,000.

So, I got to give like almost $20,000 to LLS. And so, it was amazing to meet those ladies. They like drove up from Dallas and I got to give the check to them, which was so special. But it was it was crazy to see my entire community come together to raise that much money cuz that really was like absolutely unheard of where I’m from. And so, it it was crazy. Um, and so that’s when I realized, okay, wait, like I have an image now. Like, all of these eyes are on me. I don’t like that it’s out of pity. So, how can I make this something that I do care?

Like, I want it to turn into something that I’m passionate about so that I don’t feel like it’s pity. And so, I was like, “Okay, well, this was my phrase. ” In the middle of miracle was my phrase. Like, I I keep mentioning all these little miracles along the way that you really don’t see in the moment, but then I look back and I’m like, the lady who did my first CT scan ever, like she was in the middle of chemo and like talking to me about it. Um, and I never had any idea that was going to be me in a week. So, I see all these little miracles along the way.

Um, but I I always felt like I was in the middle of one because I I would look back and I’d be like, “That was a miracle. ” And so I was like, “I’m probably in the middle of one right now. ” Yeah. Um, and my story started to really impact people. Um, and I had no idea until really like closer to the end that it was really impacting people. Um, and people felt motivated by like my energy and my spark. And so, um, I was like, I want to do something with that. everyone connected with in the middle of a miracle the phrase um I made this I had this t-sh this exact t-shirt made to ring the bell I got to ring the bell twice so I got to ring the bell at children’s and um at Stevenson whenever they were like all clear you’re good in like April so right before I graduated um and I had this t-shirt made and everyone was like you need to sell those like that has meaning everyone can connect with it everyone has miracles that occur in their lives all the time it does not always have to be medical related or cancer like everyone has miracles and so in the middle of miracle every all of us in this room, you know, could feel that at any point of our lives.

And so it was it was very relatable and I liked that. So whenever I was like, I want to do something like all of this attention is on me. I’m not liking that. So how can I like turn it into something that I care about? And I was like, well, the biggest thing that’s bothered me from the very start was the lack of awareness and how I felt unheard, unseen, and that’s not anyone else’s fault. No one’s just ever been the voice before. And so I was like, I’m going to do something about that. I’m going to start an organization. I had no idea it was ever going to be a nonprofit 501c3 registered in the state of Oklahoma, but I was like, I at least can like spread some awareness.

I have all this attention. Might as well use it for some good. So, um, my grandma who passed away, but she used to do taxes. And so, she helped me get registered in the state of Oklahoma. She helped me with all the legal side of it. And so, I was like, this is what it’s going to be called. This is what we’re going to do. And my mission is to love and serve pediatric cancer patients in Oklahoma with a focus on teenagers. Okay. So, always had the focus on teenagers, but it does also give me the ability to serve, you know, patients at Oklahoma Children’s Hospital of all kinds.

And so, I was like, I’m going to be the if there’s anything I’m going to do, I’m going to be a voice and I’m going to use my voice. So, that’s how I started. I just started spreading awareness, hosting events. I started selling t-shirts just to raise money to like pay fees. Like, I wasn’t 501c3 at first, right? We were very suspicious to the tax commission because I was 17-year-old and I was like, I’m going to start a nonprofit. um which probably looked kind of funny on paper but eventually got my 501c3 and then I started a teen board which had the connection to like my past um you know that’s how I got passionate about nonprofit work in the beginning and that alone like in the middle of miracle alone that was one of the miracles that I was like I always wanted to start one I had no idea that I was like in the middle of a miracle that whole time and that that whole buildup was going to give me the opportunity to follow my dream at 17 years old.

Yeah. Like the thing that caused me the most pain in my entire life and everyone I love had to suffer through it ended up being my purpose. Wow. Which was crazy to me. Mindboggling. Never would have saw it in the moment. So, it’s one thing to start a charity. It’s another thing then to continue operating a charity. Yes. And you’ve had some help and uh it sounds like your sorority at OSU has been really supportive. So, talk a little bit about that. Yeah. Um we’re completely volunteer based to this day. Yeah, that’s amazing. And um over three years operating. Um no one gets a salary.

That’s like the beautiful piece of it because every penny that people raise goes right back into what I do. Um I started the teen board months later. And so the teen board just started with like I think 30 high school students from all across Oklahoma. And I was like, “This is what a teen board does. I’ve been on several, but a lot of people don’t know they exist. ” And I was like, “If you want to get your volunteer service hours, I can make that happen for you and you can serve people your own age. ” So that was really attracted to people and I still had all that attention.

So people were kind of following along. They’re like, “I’ll sign up for your team board. ” And now it’s like I get like 50 to 60 high school students from all across the state of Oklahoma every year. So that’s where it all started from the very start. I had volunteers monthly. We have like monthly meetings where we do stuff for awareness. We host events. Um and it’s really like a lot of they they impact people more than they even know because they’re literally serving people their own age. Like teenagers serving teenagers has kind of been the motto for the teen board. But they get to do stuff for people their own age.

And I always just like the fir even the first meeting every year, I always just give them a perspective. I’m like, what you guys don’t understand is that like you’re going to see that whenever you connect with the people sitting at the table around you, but I was in your spot. I was a senior in high school sitting by my friends every day at school going to teen meetings like this when this happened to me. And so I think that kind of puts it into perspective for them. But they all just have different experiences and I’ve seen them all really bond um and take what they learn about service and serving people their own age back home and to their high schools and to their churches and everything like that.

that some of them have even started studying nonprofit work after. Yeah. Which was amazing for me to see that. But that’s how it started. And then I got to OSU. Um went into Greek life because I I love philanthropy. I’m studying philanthropy. Always wanted to do nonprofit work. And I knew that at OSU that was like Greek life is all about philanthropy at Oklahoma State. So that’s why I went into it was very I was at first I was just like I have nothing to lose. It could meet I could meet a lot of new people, you know, really th dive into philanthropy and like see where that takes me.

It went amazing. thing. I met a lot of amazing people. Um, ended up going into the Oklahoma Beta chapter. Um, still had nothing to do with in the middle miracle. They fell in love with like they fell in love with like my passion and who I was as a person. And I loved how they left cancer at the door when they met me. Um, they didn’t want to just, you know, they didn’t just want me for my story. They wanted me cuz they they fell in love with my personality and who I was and what I stood for. And I liked that. I always was known as the cancer girl, right?

So, it’s so amazing for me to be like, I’m already in a new new place. Um, I’m coming from all of this attention. I want to like not reinvent myself, but like be myself and be seen for my personality and my passion. And so, they saw that from the very start. And literally that next semester, it I I had such an amazing time meeting all these people. But literally that next semester is when they surprised me and they were like, “We’ve actually been going back and forth with our national chapter, you know, our national organization and we’ve all got it approved as long as it’s okay with you and we would like to adopt in the middle of miracle as our local philanthropy, which at Oklahoma State that is huge.

That is huge. That means they are raising money for me. Um they’re doing helping me with marketing and everyone all you know over 200 people in that chapter support in the middle of miracle and then help me with events. They volunteer for me. they spread awareness and so that was insane to me. In the Middle Miracle had nothing really like no relationship to their national philanthropy. So even just the fact that the national philanthropy was like we love what she’s doing. We’re going to help you guys. Um it was beautiful. There’s a lot of people that have been wearing your shirts around OSU. Yes. So that’s got to be just like amazing to see.

Yes. It causes it causes people to ask questions. I like that. Yeah. What um where are you hoping to go from here with the charity? Because you What year are you? You’re a I’m in my I’m going into my senior year. Going into your senior year kind of. Yeah. So, what’s what’s next? I have no idea. That’s the big question right now. That’s kind of I’m sure you’ve had 9,000 last Everyone has been asking me that. I really have no idea. I think I trust in the Lord’s timing. So, I’m kind of just rolling with that right now. Okay. Um, I’m graduating with my undergrad in December and I got into Oklahoma State Spears 4 plus one program.

So, I got into their MBA program where I already started my MBA. So, I’ll be able to finish it in a year. So, I’ll finish my undergrad this December and then December of 2027 I’ll finish my MBA. Okay. So, I have an extra year to kind of figure that out as I still just like still completely volunteer based. Um, I’ve been getting new trainings. I’ve been meeting new new potential sponsorships to kind of just build up in the middle miracle to where it has the ability to get those larger level maybe even corporate sponsorships one day even. Yes. Like that’s really my goal is to have the ability to do that kind of stuff.

Um that stuff I never even again I never even thought it would be what it is today and that it would have as much support as it does. And so I don’t have a lot of answers but I think that’s kind of the beautiful piece of it. Yeah. Um I never know what’s going to be next. Like opportunities kind of pop up out of nowhere. And also hardships pop up out of nowhere. That can be scary sometimes. Um where maybe one semester I don’t feel like, you know, I’m like I don’t financially this is going to be a tough year. You know, like my goal is just to keep my monthly operations.

You know, I do stuff on holidays. Um I do special service projects for teenagers, families sometimes. Um, and so I was like, that’s just kind of always up in the air, which can be really scary, but I think because of what I’ve been through and the emotional roller coaster I’ve been through, I just I could be in the middle of a miracle right now. Like I have no idea where it’s going to take me. So, uh, in the last couple minutes, I want you to take the experiences that you’ve had and you’ve had a lot of chance to kind of think about it and think about this journey that you’ve been on and I want you to talk to someone else who is maybe where you were at when you were 17.

Like, what do you say to that person? Because you’ve probably had some of those conversations. And what are like I don’t know if it’s like words of encouragement or things to think about or things that you wish that you knew or you know just what what are what are you telling somebody who’s a teenager who’s just been told that they have cancer and they work at the surf bar and they’re go they go the next day and it hasn’t really hit yet, but it will a week later and then their hair’s going to fall out. What do you tell that person? I’ve actually thought about this a lot.

Um what I would have wanted or what I needed Yeah. that maybe I didn’t get because no one knew what to do. Um I it’s kind of a hot take for me. Okay. I think with my personality type, honestly, anyone’s you’re you’re covered in love and support and encouragement the second something like this happens to you. Um you know, cancer is something you wouldn’t wish upon your worst enemy. People say that all the time. That’s true. And so you’re already like covered in pity. You’re covered in encouragement. Those aren’t thing those are just like things that you’re already like people are pouring that into your family, pouring that into you.

But I feel like the one thing I’ve even had conversations with like newer cancer patients who have reached out to me. Um and my first thing is always validation from the very start. I think that’s important. I always like to validate their feelings. I’m like the way you’re feel like I was in shock and people thought I was crazy and ignorant. Yeah. And whereas I would if if I saw someone in shock I’d be like you’re valid. Take your time. You don’t have to hurry. You don’t have to give people the reaction they want. I think everything is up to you. Um, this is happening to you.

Yes, it’s happening to everyone else, but I think everyone handles it differently. Like, people thought I was crazy for the way I handled it. Like, they were like, “Why are you not scared? ” Yeah, that’s ignorant. Your family’s about to go through a lot. You know, I knew what people were thinking. Um, and I just did my own thing. And I wish I just had someone be like, “You’re valid to do that. Your feelings are valid. Um, it’s not going to be pretty. I don’t I don’t ever like to romanticize cancer. Um some people can do that. Um you’re already getting encouragement. People people are showering you with compliments on how good you look and you look in the mirror and you know you look sick.

So it can almost feel like gaslighting sometimes. And I I think that’s the biggest thing I would encourage people not to do is don’t ever gaslight yourself. If you are having feelings and you feel like you need to talk to someone about that, do it. Because I didn’t I really didn’t start talking to people about it. I really I did I was guilty of like romanticizing it in a sense because um I wanted everyone to just like only focus on the piece of me that was happy and brave and doing great and like back at school the next day and looked happy. But re in reality I wish I would have spoke to validate other teenagers that went through what I went through.

I wish I would have spoken more on the dark side of it. There’s going to be days where you’re not feeling so energetic and happy and that’s okay. You do not have to put on a front for people. You don’t owe anything to anyone. You don’t owe it to people to be brave. You don’t owe it to anyone to, you know, inspire people. That’s that’s that puts a lot of pressure on you, I think. And I just always felt a lot of pressure. And it’s no one was like putting that pressure on me on purpose, you know? So, that can be so misconstrued. Like, it was a blessing that I got to be an example for people on how to like look confident whenever things were scary.

But I just think I don’t know, everyone has such a different experience with it, but the one thing that I think everyone can relate to is that you feel alone because you’re there’s no one around you that you can relate to. And so that is a valid feeling. It’s okay to be like, I don’t want to talk to you about how I’m sad today because I know you’re just going to cover me in positivity, but maybe I don’t need that today because what I’m going through is not positive. So like positivity sometimes would literally like kill my joy almost, which was crazy. Yeah. Um I I feel like I would be so joyful and then everyone would just like remind me how lucky I was.

That word I really didn’t like. I did not love it whenever people would hear my diagnosis and be like, “You’re so lucky that it was only this stage. You’re so lucky that it was this like lymphoma, not leukemia. ” Yeah. Um you never feel lucky, right? Those are words I don’t like to hear. Um you you all I feel like all people need to do is validate your feelings. they can encourage you and be there for you. But sometimes all you need is just people to just be there whenever you are having a bad day and not just shower you in in false truths that everything is beautiful and sunshines and rainbows cuz it’s not always that.

Well, and I think another thing too is that each day is different and there’s not and it like you’re probably when you get diagnosed with cancer, you’re probably about to go through it’s like it’s like going to the amusement park and there’s like the little roller coasters and that’s like normal life and like going through cancer is like whatever the most extreme roller coaster you can imagine and then that’s what you’re about to get on and it is just it’s a wild ride. It’s completely and every hour and every day is just so different. Completely different. Yeah. And it’s like and I think maybe going into it knowing that like even if and because then it’s like okay well the last two days I felt like this.

Oh well maybe that’s the new trend and then the third day it’ll just be like like you said like some days you feel positive and optimistic and the next day it’s super dark and I don’t know if I’m going to get through this. And then you spent two or three days like in a coma. Yeah. So it’s like an identity crisis thing. Like that’s what I would tell people. I’ I’ve literally I remember I had a conversation with a girl a few months ago about that and I was like if like she like wanted to hear about my experience cuz I think that’s what she thought would help her and I was like honestly I did have an identity crisis.

What you saw on social media of me was not me all the time because I felt like I had to be that way because that’s what people wanted to see and people saw me as so brave and I felt like I had to be brave all the time and I was like that’s not reality. You don’t have to be. Yeah. And that’s okay too. Yeah. Yeah. and being and being getting to the it’s so hard to get to the point where you are able to say I’m afraid. Yeah. Like it’s a really hard thing. That takes bravery just as much to me. Yes. Like that is right.

That in and of itself is brave. Yeah. So, well, I really appreciate your time, Brooklyn. Thank you. So, if somebody wants to help or get involved or support in the middle of a miracle or somebody’s listening to this and maybe they’re going through a cancer journey and they’re looking for help. Yeah. How do they connect with you? in the middleofmiracle. org. org online. Um my email, my contact information, all of our social media is on there so people can reach out through any of those platforms and even if people just have questions um or they just want to share their story and they want to talk to someone about it, like not just me, but like we have people that that’s like their dream is just to like be involved with this.

So yeah, that’s amazing. Yeah, cuz you want to give back. You want to hear from people. It it’s like honestly a way of healing me from, you know, the things I went through as well. So I love it. Well, thank you so much, Brooklyn. Thank you so much. This was fantastic. I love your story. Thank you. The Cancer Project podcast is made possible by the Oklahoma Proton Center, a state-of-the-art cancer center where precision and treatment meets real compassion in care. We’re grateful for their support and for you for spending this time with us. If you’d like to learn more about the Oklahoma Proton Center, you can visit their website at the link below.

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