David Raubach: I want to thank you for joining us on today’s episode of The Cancer Project Podcast. We’re privileged to have Melinda Wilson here with us today. She’s a breast cancer survivor, um also an incredibly talented martial artist. I think I said that right. Martial artist, I’m not a martial artist. Melinda Wilson: Yes. David Raubach: Um and so she’s going to tell us all about uh her journey going through breast cancer, um and also martial arts, I think, too. So, you were in a film uh as well recently. Um so, thank you for joining us today here, Melinda. Melinda Wilson: Yes. Yeah, it’s Thank you for having me. I I love sharing my story because I find that it is

Melinda Wilson: encouraging to other people. And it’s so helpful to have somebody else who’s walked a similar journey. Although the diagnosis are very different and all over the place. Like, we still all have this one thing that we become a sisterhood of like we we are can- breast cancer survivors. So. David Raubach: So, uh before we came on, you we were talking about this film that you were in, because I watched that to learn a little bit about your story, and it was so well done. So, tell me about that. Melinda Wilson: Well, I had the the hospital, Sutter Medical Center, um contacted and said, “Hey, would you like to share your story?” And I was like, “Well, of

Melinda Wilson: course.” I had great care. They they were I really felt like they had did just a great job with me. The nursing staff were great. David Raubach: Sure. Melinda Wilson: So, I thought I had signed up for maybe like a 5-minute, you know, Facebook post and stuff, but actually what they did is they brought a film team in and worked and I got to share my story, and it was an incredible blessing to have to reprocess that after chemo, after I had finished my treatment, because the memory was it struggles. And to be able to come back and just think about answer some of the questions that they were asking us. It was such a a great experience and

David Raubach: When a lot of the scenes I noticed that your husband was with you. So, it seems like he was kind of right there by your side throughout the process. Melinda Wilson: Well, I almost contacted you and I said, “You know what? We We went through this journey together.” He was absolutely by my side. Um unfortunately, he had a meeting in um Oklahoma City today as well. Um he works for the Health Sciences Center. Um And so, yes, he was always beside me. And when we filmed that, I was like, “Can he be with me?” Because at that time it’s just the memory and just he was always present. So, that’s a huge part. It’s our

Melinda Wilson: story, actually. It’s not just my story. David Raubach: of you guys together at the uh martial arts studio. And just kind of the slow B-roll shots of you guys sitting on the floor together and just seemed like you guys were just kind of like taking everything in and just thinking about life and Melinda Wilson: Well, we actually thought they were done filming for the day. David Raubach: Oh, you didn’t even remember Melinda Wilson: I can’t believe that we were that they have changed our karate school, our studio into an actual film studio. David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: And so, we’re just looking at everything around. And so, that was very That was us. That was very natural. And then that is

Melinda Wilson: such a lovely part of that video of just capturing us together because David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: we definitely connected on that. We’re like, “Okay, there’s this relief of like, okay, I think we’re done filming for the day.” But then there’s this moment of still life moving and going on and students kind of milling around. And so, it was very uh just who we are. David Raubach: And so, the visits with the doctor that were on film, were those staged? Or was that Those were the actual visits that you had with the doctor? Melinda Wilson: Yeah, that that was the actual visits. The only thing that was is Dr. Ogundipe walked in and they’re like, “Okay, now we’re ready.”

Melinda Wilson: And he walked back out and then he walked back in so that they could just turn on the the cameras. David Raubach: him walking into the room, but the conversations that you guys were Those were the actual consults that you had. Melinda Wilson: That was the actual consult. That was actually us talking um about it. And so no no there was no there was no stage to any of that video. David Raubach: Well, if anybody wants to watch that video, I just googled Melinda Wilson and it popped up. I’m not actually even sure what if I was on YouTube or Stillwater Medical’s website or where the video actually lives, but I know if if if you if you

David Raubach: Google Melinda Wilson Stillwater, that video is the first thing that pops up. Melinda Wilson: Oh, that’s yep. And it’s in Stillwater Medical Center’s YouTube channel, so you can find it there. David Raubach: Got it. So um let’s step back a little bit cuz I want to kind of get to know Melinda the person. Melinda Wilson: Okay. David Raubach: And you can tell me whatever you want. You get to define who Melinda the person is. So maybe growing up, I saw a picture in that video of you with a Spiro basketball uniform on. Melinda Wilson: Yes, I grew up in eastern Oklahoma just outside Portsmouth, Arkansas in a little town called Spiro, Oklahoma. And it’s my family our ranch is still

Melinda Wilson: there. Um so we we actually go back every weekend and I grew up as an athlete. David Raubach: Okay. Melinda Wilson: I played softball and um basketball um until after high school and then I went straight to Oklahoma State to go to school, which is where I still live in Stillwater. And I was just loved activity. I loved being outside. Rode horses for a while. David Raubach: Okay. Melinda Wilson: And so yeah, just living the outdoor dream. David Raubach: When you say ranch, what what was on the ranch? Melinda Wilson: Um we always had cattle. David Raubach: Okay. Melinda Wilson: So yeah, we used to call it a farm, but you know that people in the north think if a ranch is animals,

Melinda Wilson: farm is dirt. David Raubach: Oh. Melinda Wilson: We had a rancher in Wyoming correct us all the time. You do not have a farm, you have a ranch because you do not dig in the dirt. David Raubach: So I live on a farm, but we only have animals, so I guess I should be calling it a ranch. It’s the Roback Ranch, yeah, instead of Roback Farm. So that I’ll have to correct myself on that. Melinda Wilson: Yes, our property was Seabo Farms, which is a maiden name of mine and we don’t say that now. We actually David Raubach: So Spiro is famous for the Melinda Wilson: Mounds, right? David Raubach: World-renowned Spiro Mounds. Yes. Yep. Growing up grew up

Melinda Wilson: it wasn’t a big deal to us because it was right there. David Raubach: was right there. Yeah. Melinda Wilson: But we actually on our ranch we have had the opportunity opportunity of finding many arrowheads. So, where we drilled our or dug up our arena David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: after rain we would go and walk around and find arrowheads. David Raubach: So, the Spiro Mounds I’m trying to think back to I I think it’s been about 35 years since I’ve been there 30 years since I’ve been there. I went there as a kid. I grew up in Tulsa. Melinda Wilson: Oh, okay. David Raubach: So, the Spiro Mounds I guess were built by Native Americans. Melinda Wilson: Yes. It’s just David Raubach: Many many

David Raubach: like a thousand years ago. I’m I’m going to get the dates wrong a long long time ago. Melinda Wilson: Um but they were and so they they were burial mounds, right? Yeah. And so it’s a really neat landmark. And it it it kind of ties into the old old history of course pre-United States but of North America back a thousand 1,500 years ago. David Raubach: Well, the Trail of Tears came right through the town and so every year that they would take they would take that trek through and my parents owned a restaurant in in the town and so we would just kind of look out the window and watch them walk by. It’s kind of cool

David Raubach: but you know sadly I didn’t dig in deep into the history of that and it was just Melinda Wilson: one of those you’re there so you like live it every day. I don’t I think I learned more about the history of Tulsa after I moved out of Tulsa than actually just living in Tulsa growing up. David Raubach: Yes. And people ask questions and I’m like you know I don’t know. Let me just Google that now. Melinda Wilson: Yeah, right. David Raubach: that out. Melinda Wilson: David Raubach: So, did you have to wait tables at the restaurant? Melinda Wilson: I waited tables and I cooked. David Raubach: Oh yeah yeah everything. Melinda Wilson: But No, but people know that I cooked for a lot of people

Melinda Wilson: at the time. So, yeah I did that. My parents owned it and I worked there even on the weekends going through college. So, I’d come in. My parents they actually owned they were owned many businesses. So, they did glass plant so they did pulled glass or blown glass when before I was around and then they had a machine shop and then they did ag air which is crop dusting. David Raubach: Okay. Melinda Wilson: Then they bought the restaurant so they would just their community did lots of different things. David Raubach: What was the thing that people came in for at the restaurant? Melinda Wilson: Burgers definitely like we had a special recipe. David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: That was just carried

Melinda Wilson: on for you know for a lot of years. So David Raubach: What’s the secret? Can you give away the secret or you not allowed to? Melinda Wilson: No it’s the recipe’s dead. It’s extra bread and the rest and the meat. David Raubach: Oh is it really? Melinda Wilson: Yeah. David Raubach: Oh okay. Melinda Wilson: Extra bread. David Raubach: Extra bread okay I’m going to have to try that. Melinda Wilson: Yeah. David Raubach: Okay that’s good to know. Melinda Wilson: had like variations of how they introduced that but essentially it worked out. David Raubach: of bread? Melinda Wilson: Just white bread. David Raubach: Just white bread and the meat okay. Melinda Wilson: Well there was a bread company in Fort Smith across the border and they had uh bread crumbs.

David Raubach: Okay. Melinda Wilson: And so we took the bread crumbs. That was before my parents owned it my aunt and uncle actually owned it before we did. And then they started toasting white bread and then it ended up just taking white bread putting it into the bread. David Raubach: Oh that’s okay that’s fascinating. I worked at a seafood and oyster bar when I was in college waiting tables but we had a burger. Which is you don’t think of a burger at a seafood restaurant. Our burger was amazing. I loved it. I used to eat it almost every single day. Melinda Wilson: Oh we grew up you know in spiral there we could eat off campus in fourth grade

Melinda Wilson: so we would walk off campus and go eat at the same restaurant and it was just burgers and then later on chicken strips. We had special chicken strips which were just bought from one company or fries so it was fun. David Raubach: So let’s talk a little bit about your cancer journey. So you were diagnosed in 2022. Melinda Wilson: February the 22nd. David Raubach: February the 22nd. Melinda Wilson: 2022. David Raubach: Okay so that date just sticks in your mind. Melinda Wilson: It’s an easy one to remember. David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: Yep. David Raubach: Yeah, I guess 2 22 22. So, walk us through that process. What happened? How did How did you find out that you had cancer? Melinda Wilson: Well, I had

Melinda Wilson: just scheduled my normal annual with my OBGYN, and that was on February 14th, other easy day to remember. And as he was doing the breast exam, he completed it, and then he come back, and then he gave dimensions. And I’m a mathematician, like I went to school, my bachelor’s is a math, and I was like, “Well, that’s different. Yeah. I’ve never had that happen before.” And so, then he told me, he’s like, “There was a There was a cyst, and so that we were just going to have everything checked just to make sure.” You know, I wasn’t alarmed. There was not breast cancer in my family, but my mom had had many cysts that had

Melinda Wilson: been biopsied, and it was just fluid-filled. So, I wasn’t alarmed. David Raubach: Okay. Melinda Wilson: Okay, no big deal. Sure, let’s get that checked, make sure it’s okay, and then, you know, I get back to my office, and the surgeon’s calling me, like, “Pick a surgeon. Okay, we’re doing a mammogram, going into biopsy or ultrasound if we need it, and then biopsy.” And I was like, “Whoa, that’s a little overwhelming. That’s a little fast.” And okay, here we go. Told my husband, I was like, “Um so, um same, well, your mom had the cyst, and so there wasn’t anything to worry about.” Okay, great. So, go. Couldn’t get in till like the March, and this is in

Melinda Wilson: February, and I was like, “I don’t really like that David Raubach: Right. Melinda Wilson: time frame.” And so, I knew that if I called, if there was a cancellation, I might be able to get in. Now, they don’t hold anybody on a list. So, you can call, and I was kind, I said, “Okay, I’ll talk to you tomorrow, and see if I can get in.” And I actually ended up getting in much earlier, so that was the 14th. Okay. David Raubach: The 21st was my appointment. I went over and did a mammogram, and which called to let’s do an ultrasound. And as soon as I saw the ultrasound, I knew that this is not good. David Raubach: Okay.

Melinda Wilson: You know that David Raubach: see something on the ultrasound. Melinda Wilson: coming off of it and I knew that if it was a cyst of just like fluid, it would probably be very round and it wouldn’t have fingers coming off of it. David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: And so I looked at the ultrasound and I had taken x-rays at a former job so I was like, “Ooh, I think that is not going to be good.” David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: And so of course we progressed right right to the biopsy and I’m trying to you know crane my neck around so that I can see the images and just watch. Nothing bothered me with that. I actually loved the watching.

David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: And so I’m okay. So we That was the 21st and the 22nd I kind of watched for the portal for the report to come in and it had come through about 3:30 that afternoon and I was supposed to get off at 4:00 and sure enough carcinoma. David Raubach: Oh wow. Melinda Wilson: Whoa. David Raubach: Did you know what that meant at that time? Okay. Melinda Wilson: And I and I sat there and I’m like, “I need to tell my husband. I need to get Thomas.” is his name. And I was like, “I need to talk to Thomas. How do I tell him this?” And I was already I already suspected it. Um all day I just knew.

David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: And so while I was walking out the doctor called me and said, “It is cancer.” And so I got off the phone and I I really wasn’t anticipating Thomas’s reaction. Um he’s mainly man. He’s tough. He’s he’s not afraid to show emotion but he’s just strong. I called him and I wish I had not called him. I wish I had waited to see him because David Raubach: Oh yeah. Melinda Wilson: he collapsed on the ground. David Raubach: And he was just broken. Melinda Wilson: Yeah. David Raubach: And so we had to teach classes that night. We are surely not ready to talk to anybody about it. We hadn’t even been able to talk really amongst ourselves and

Melinda Wilson: so we classes start at 5:15 and we just kept exchanging. I would I went out and had to make a few phone calls and then David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: my surgeon had called me. And I it’s just well, here we are. And so about a day and a half later, um he just it was really really hard for him. David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: He just couldn’t wrap his brain around it and I ended up emailing his boss cuz people were like, “What’s going on?” David Raubach: yeah. Melinda Wilson: People were recognizing. So I I ended up emailing his boss cuz Thomas just could not say breast cancer. He couldn’t say it. And I was like, “Okay.” And we I said,

Melinda Wilson: “It’s okay you’re this way right now, but I have I I’m going to going to need you to be different. You’re going to have to be strong.” We didn’t know what was coming. We didn’t know if we were going to do chemo. I just wanted it cut it out. Like, “Can I get to surgery?” David Raubach: Right. Melinda Wilson: And you know, the crazy story if I back up just a moment, I had led a Bible study David Raubach: Okay. Melinda Wilson: via Zoom and I had done it since COVID, right? When nobody could meet together and this is still kind of at the tail end of COVID anyway. And so we had somebody join the study that I

Melinda Wilson: did not know. And one of the one of the ladies said, “Oh, you’re going to love this person. They’re like the greatest surgeon in Stillwater.” David Raubach: Oh, no way. Melinda Wilson: Yeah, and I said, “Well, no thank you. I’ve had everything that I need cut out. Like, I’m good.” David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: And so 2 weeks later, this is the surgeon that’s calling me. So of course when the the surgery center called and said, “Oh, you need to pick a surgeon, you know.” And I’m like, “I don’t know.” And I’m like, “Okay, this person.” David Raubach: Wow. Melinda Wilson: I didn’t know him that well. So that was the Lord’s hand, you know, I’m a person of faith and

Melinda Wilson: I just knew that he was directing this. And so she became my surgeon surgeon. And after um Thomas’s you know, I’m like, “Okay.” So we get an appointment with the surgeon and she’s wanted me to go see the oncologist because other imaging showed that it was very close to my chest wall. David Raubach: Okay. Melinda Wilson: Well, I’m a martial artist and they said that I was not going to be able to do push-ups. David Raubach: Oh, yeah, which I mean yes. Melinda Wilson: That is a problem for me. And so, okay. So, and then uh wise friend said, “Melinda, if your surgeon’s wanting to send you to have chemo, you should probably listen to that because surgeons want

Melinda Wilson: to do surgery.” David Raubach: Right, that’s not in their DNA to say, “Go do something besides surgery.” Melinda Wilson: back and paused. So, that was kind of all in the intermediate of Thomas. And so, after about day two and a half, he was like, “All right, this is what we’re going to do.” And he switched. And he doesn’t mind me sharing that he is very much pessimistic, dim and gloom. David Raubach: Well, in the video that I watched that you were in, I mean he he said that he thought this was a fatal diagnosis. Like when he first heard it, Melinda Wilson: Yeah. David Raubach: he’s in his mind, you were going to die from this. Melinda Wilson: He sure enough

Melinda Wilson: he I mean he’d had a couple of family members that once the cancer diagnosis came, it was fatal. Now, they were in a much different place in life. They were a lot older, but still it’s like cancer. And we also had a a friend of ours that sat in front of us at church who had been diagnosed just about a year before mine. And it was very much fatal for her. So, we’re watching this in tandem of me like, “Oh, here we go. We’re going to start chemo.” And so, we you know, just appointment after appointment. And David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: before long we’re sitting being hooked up for chemo. David Raubach: Yeah. So, there’s this scene

David Raubach: in the movie uh where you and Thomas are going and looking at the chair where you got chemo. And it’s a very emotional scene. Describe just that moment, what you’re thinking. Melinda Wilson: That that that scene was definitely not planned. I had walked through with the the film crew and said, “This is kind of where we were and had been. Um it was such a different experience walking with Thomas because he had not been back in the cancer center since I had completed treatment. David Raubach: Okay. Melinda Wilson: And so we saw the chair where we sat and he worked. I did um chemo capping so that meant I froze my head um for 8 hours a day.

David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: Um it actually worked to some level except we did not obey all the rules and so that didn’t go our way in the end. David Raubach: Well, maybe just quick aside. So So the chemo capping for those that aren’t familiar, why do you do that? Melinda Wilson: Uh slows the blood flow to your head so that you can keep your hair. David Raubach: Okay. Melinda Wilson: Which losing my hair was a big big thing. That was like going to be just the hardest part for me. So that scene that you that you asked about was yeah, that was just full emotion. Like that’s where we sat time after time for hours, you know, I did eight

Melinda Wilson: treatments and watching sitting there looking at it and it’s hadn’t really changed any. And just you know, for me flooding through my head is how many other people had sat in that same chair while going through treatment. Continued to sit there in that chair of where the nurses they took care of us. They gave us, you know, all the drugs. They were so kind and caring. And there’s my husband trying to do whatever he could do to help me save my hair. And so it was hard to look at it. And then you think you step forward and you’re like, here I am now, you know, and that was back in ’23. David Raubach: Right.

Melinda Wilson: And so still walking into the cancer center, there’s a flood of emotion just from the smells and I’m part of project 31 which is a breast cancer support group. David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: And we meet there. And there’s a moment of walking in that the smell is just like, oh wow, yep, this is where you sat. Not not knowing. David Raubach: flood of memories come back and all of those just like low points where you’re coming off of doing the chemo and you probably are not able to keep food down. You’re super nauseous. You can hardly get out of bed. Like you’re just thinking about all of that. Melinda Wilson: Yes, but man, my my journey um I

Melinda Wilson: I did not get super sick. David Raubach: Okay. Melinda Wilson: I did not um I did not stop life. One of the things that was expressed to me in watching my friend I just mentioned, just live life normal. David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: And so I worked out, I trained, and I taught classes as if I was not gone. I didn’t I did take off my chemo days. I stayed home and rested cuz I was absolutely exhausted. So the flood of emotions is like, yes. I mean, you don’t feel well. David Raubach: Right. Melinda Wilson: You’re very I was very tired and looking at where we are now, I mean, we’re all miracles walking. We’re all just like, wow. The chemo

Melinda Wilson: drugs, the radiation, the things worked to move forward. David Raubach: So you did surgery? Or so you did chemo first? Melinda Wilson: chemo first. We had to shrink the tumor. David Raubach: Okay. Melinda Wilson: I mean, it worked. I mean, it was hope. I just wanted it cut out. Like I was just obsessed with like, just cut it out. And they’re like, we can’t get to it. So um I did surgery and then I did I followed up with radiation. David Raubach: Oh, so you did all three. So you ended up doing chemo and then surgery and then radiation. Okay. And then the And so the radiation process for somebody who’s maybe not been through that or is listening to

David Raubach: this and thinking, I’ve got radiation coming up and I just don’t know what to expect. Describe what that was like. Melinda Wilson: It was actually harder David Raubach: Okay. Melinda Wilson: for me. Um I coughed a little bit cuz it was hit you know, the radiation’s hitting my lungs slightly. That’s what the doctor said. I believe I believe that. Um it was very it was very fatiguing. Like I mean, that it was like minutes on the machine and you walk in and it takes longer to get dressed and walk back there. David Raubach: Right. Melinda Wilson: Get your warm blanket. That was important to me. And coming out um and then I used a cream and I would just slather

Melinda Wilson: it David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: all over me. David Raubach: Cuz you’re getting the radiation burning on the skin. Melinda Wilson: Yep. David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: Yeah, and so that that really made a big difference. But then you’re like, “Okay, I’ll go back to work like nothing’s ever happened.” I mean, I was gone for like 15 minutes a day to go have it done, maybe 30 minutes depending on, you know, the wait time. And stuff, but it it it was very exhausting. And then the after effects of the radiation was the tight muscles and stuff. I remember we were laying in bed and I was kind of reach my hand up and I was like, “Whoa, I can’t move my

Melinda Wilson: arm back.” David Raubach: Oh, wow. Yeah. Melinda Wilson: And I didn’t know I didn’t know what that was about. I didn’t understand, you know, you don’t know what you don’t know until you experience it. And so I had worked for a chiropractor prior and so I had went to her and she Well, let’s try Graston. Let’s try to break up that scar tissue. So, I treated all of that with Graston and um just like cupping, just whatever they could do just to try to break it break up the scar tissue. And that actually really did help. I mean, I have I can I can now bring my arm all the way back and that was not possible

Melinda Wilson: at all. David Raubach: So, was there um talk about just the mental fortitude that it took to get through this process? Cuz the whole thing start to finish with from February from 2 20222, February 22nd, 2022 until you’re done with treatment. I know there’s follow-ups after that, but but even just all of the treatments was probably close to a year or Melinda Wilson: Yeah, well, it’s it is it is so many doctor appointments. And if I include the labs and the chiropractor visits, I had 11 doctor appointments in one week. David Raubach: Oh my gosh. Wow. Melinda Wilson: And it’s I live at the doctor. You know, that’s what we do. I get up and, you know, and so

Melinda Wilson: it’s and it’s really hard and and it takes like a mindset. Like I could just hear “Okay, be normal. Live your life.” And for me, and this may not be the case for everyone, but laying at home on the couch did not help me very much at all. Like I just felt the same as if I had worked out. And so, there were times in the studio we do push-ups to start off classes, and I would lay down the floor and I would just close my eyes. I’m like, I can do this. David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: I can do it. David Raubach: Just one push-up. Let’s just do one push-up. Yeah. Melinda Wilson: One push-up. It never ended

Melinda Wilson: with one push-up. David Raubach: Right. Melinda Wilson: And then, I’m very competitive and the other students would show up and they might feel like, “Well, Melinda’s going through chemo. I can do this.” And so, then it became like a competition of like, “Oh, yeah, I’m not going to stop.” David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: But, there is something inside me that it just it clicked. And it, you know, it just back to like and a half and I was telling you Thomas was just absolutely devastated. David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: And then we come back and he we began to pray cuz faith was just a huge part of that strength. We began to pray you know, truths over us like And

Melinda Wilson: one of the most scary truth is like, I’m healed here or I’m healed in heaven. David Raubach: Oh, right. Melinda Wilson: And so, it doesn’t matter where I I would prefer here. I like my life. I love Thomas. We have a, you know, our things are good. But, let’s just keep going and so, we began to just pray the truths of just like who God was in us and how our faith defined those things and just knowing that no matter what it was going to be okay and that we could trust God and that he was in control of all things. David Raubach: Yeah. It seemed like the studio or the members of the studio where you teach

David Raubach: or I guess you guys own the studio. Melinda Wilson: Yeah. David Raubach: Um, it seemed like they were very supportive of you during the process. Melinda Wilson: They were incredible. In fact, there’s still there’s a little girl that um, came and she made this kid version of it. It says, “Master Melinda kicked cancer.” David Raubach: Oh, that’s amazing. Yeah. Melinda Wilson: And it still hangs in the school today. And it’s starting to curl because it’s been a few years and that family’s had to relocate to a different state as well, but there’s something about those kids that they didn’t really comprehend. They knew Master Melinda was sick. By the way, I don’t go by Master Melinda in everywhere. It’s just

Melinda Wilson: in this in this Just in the studio. Like I, you know, I’m like, “Okay, you can see me in Walmart.” David Raubach: formal Melinda Wilson: title at at Dana-Farber. David Raubach: to that and with my rank I am Melinda Wilson: Yeah. David Raubach: I have achieved that, so it says that. And you know, I look at that and just knowing the people that showed up I don’t think there’s any pictures in the video that shows how many people showed up to ring the bell David Raubach: Oh, yeah. Melinda Wilson: for me. David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: And there was some but there was some people in that there that day that they couldn’t be showed, so David Raubach: Okay, got it. Melinda Wilson: And there was

Melinda Wilson: security issue. David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: And the whole room was filled with that. David Raubach: That’s amazing. Melinda Wilson: Coming off of COVID, you know, I was like, “Well, I didn’t invite everybody.” And the cancer center was like, “No, we need life to come back.” Like David Raubach: Right. Melinda Wilson: excitement. Like they’re just You know, it’s just hard. It’s really kind of down. David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: people are sick. They don’t have much color because of the chemo, and so anyway, the whole the school, even former students showed up to Melinda Wilson: to celebrate that. And I couldn’t even walk out. I was so overwhelmed with emotion. David Raubach: Cuz you’re coming out of the back. You finished your last Was it

David Raubach: chemo? Melinda Wilson: Uh the radiation. David Raubach: Radiation. So it’s your last radiation treatment, you’re coming out and suddenly you see this big crowd of people. Melinda Wilson: Well, I I said, “Would you go get my husband?” David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: And um he come back and we had a moment together, and we both just cried. David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: And just we did it. We we did it. And with everybody else. And we paused and so, you know, it was very much our journey, and so we walked out together. And that was just one of the most fulfilling moments. You know, our wedding day was huge. David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: faith, our salvation dates were huge. David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: But

Melinda Wilson: conquering conquering that um was big. David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: In the background we’re also dealing with putting my dad in a nursing home. David Raubach: Oh, wow. Melinda Wilson: And there is just this whole other level of things going on while I’m going through treatment and we’re going you know, doing all of that. So, we had a lot of other complicated things happening and so that pause in that moment was like David Raubach: Well, that’s the thing. I think that’s the thing that I hope that that people that maybe haven’t gone through cancer understand is that you’re trying to deal with this very significant health issue that requires 11 doctors visits in one a week. Uh all of these

David Raubach: toxic drugs, difficult treatments, you’ve got scar tissue, you can’t raise your arm above your head, but life doesn’t stop. Melinda Wilson: No. David Raubach: You’ve still got to work, you’ve still got to exist and function, you still have relationships that you’re trying to cultivate and maintain. You’re talking about putting your dad in a nursing home, which that just in and of itself without anything else going on is something very heavy and very difficult to deal with. Melinda Wilson: I felt like I was like three people most of the time. Like here’s my dad’s daughter making sure he’s getting his medication, putting him in the nursing home, making sure the staff understand all the little things that are going

Melinda Wilson: on. They don’t know him. And for his best care, I’m like let’s make sure that he is okay and then you know, we had our school work, normal Melinda, and then we had this Oh, okay. I have chemo tomorrow. Here we go. And so you know, you know, radiation. Okay, here we go. Five days a week for the next four weeks. David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: Okay, I only have three doctor’s appointments this week. It is really exhausting and it takes a lot of time to kind of get on the other side of all of it. David Raubach: So, talk about the phrase never give up because it seems like that’s a it’s something that we say and

David Raubach: sometimes we’ll just kind of say that somewhat flippantly, but it had a lot of meaning for you personally. So, talk about why that phrase was so important for you. Melinda Wilson: I started martial arts in 1996. So, coming out of college, I was an athlete. And so, I started training. And the short of the story is I had a friend who was chasing a boy. David Raubach: Okay. Melinda Wilson: Boy started martial arts, karate, taekwondo. David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: Synonymous. And although they’re very different. And I started that journey. And so, in about 2003, there’s just some school transition stuff and we joined a group that their motto was never give up. Pat Jack Pool Goal. David Raubach: Okay.

Melinda Wilson: And essentially, it’s like I get knocked down, I get up again. I get knocked down, I get up again. I know there’s a song that goes there. I will not sing it to you, but just getting knocked down and getting up again. And on our belt pre all of this is those letters that say Pat Jack Pool Goal. David Raubach: Okay. Melinda Wilson: Which is never give up. David Raubach: Okay. Melinda Wilson: So, in my martial arts, my karate belt, taekwondo belt, we actually teach taekwondo and Krav Maga to be exact. Is printed on that. And so, there were times definitely I’m like, I have told a thousand people to never give up. David Raubach: I certainly am not going

Melinda Wilson: to give up. And so, it just it just went right along with it. And you know, some things are just like sovereign. You know, it’s here we are teaching and preaching. Don’t give up. Keep going. Just keep your head up and keep going. And then when cancer hits, it really comes into play. David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: So, yeah. And still, you know, you look at that. My martial arts belt, I tested for my next rank after um chemo and all the treatment and stuff. And my next stripe is pink. David Raubach: Oh, is it really? Melinda Wilson: I was like, I think this belt deserves a embroidered pink stripe. David Raubach: Yes. Melinda Wilson: And so, my sixth degree black

Melinda Wilson: belt is a little pink notch. And so, I continue to get to tell my story. David Raubach: That’s amazing. Melinda Wilson: Kids like, why is that pink? And I’m like, well, let me tell you why it’s pink. David Raubach: So, you’re a sixth degree black belt. Melinda Wilson: Mhm. David Raubach: That is amazing. I can’t even fathom what that journey was like going from 1998 you said and then Melinda Wilson: Six, yeah. David Raubach: Yeah, and then getting to sixth degree black belt. Wow. Melinda Wilson: It’s a lot of It’s a lot of classes. It’s a lot of hours. David Raubach: A lot of never giving up. Melinda Wilson: lot of never giving up. I mean, there’s time you’re like, “Okay, I’m done training.”

David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: And And about the time I was done training training my husband came to an event that I was running and he gets in the car and he says, “Well, and I did primarily kids for many, many years.” And so he gets in the car. He’s like, “We’re starting adult classes October 1st.” I said, “Okay.” He’s like, “I’m your first student.” David Raubach: Oh, wow. Melinda Wilson: You talking about strengthening a marriage is like learning how to teach somebody something that, you know, it was really good for us. And now we teach and train together. David Raubach: What What level has he gotten to? Melinda Wilson: Um he is a fourth degree black belt. David Raubach: Okay. All right,

David Raubach: so he’s progressed and Melinda Wilson: Yep. Just Just right on time. David Raubach: up, yeah. Melinda Wilson: When you train five nights a week, it things, you know, you’re able to get There’s uh class requirements and all sorts of things before you can actually test to the next rank. So he he’ll be testing to master in September. David Raubach: Okay. So what Do you have a a goal that you’re ultimately trying to achieve or is it just kind of continue to progress? Melinda Wilson: You know, no. I just keep going for as long as my body will allow. David Raubach: as you can do those push-ups. Melinda Wilson: As long as I can do push-ups and kicks. Probably kicks more important than

Melinda Wilson: push-ups. David Raubach: Yeah. Yeah. Melinda Wilson: Um so we we have a very We don’t want to ask people to do things that we cannot or will not do ourselves. So when we ask our students to do 50 push-ups, we get down and do 50 push-ups with them. So as long as our body will allow us to and I would have quit had he not started. So it’s been interesting how it has just worked itself out um over the years. So he’s been training for about 15 years now. David Raubach: Okay. That’s amazing. So let’s talk about project 31 um because you have at least according to Sarah McLean the founder and executive director of project 31. You’ve

David Raubach: just been amazing and have really kind of paved the way to have a fantastic program in Stillwater. So just talk about first of all how you got connected with project 31 and then why you feel this calling to give back through project 31 now. Melinda Wilson: Oh, I I love I love this question because project 31 found me. David Raubach: Okay. Melinda Wilson: I did not know about them. Now they did have some online stuff through covid but I mean when I’m doing treatment we’re still in mask. And so I didn’t know that I needed a support group and I probably would have been like No. I don’t like to cry. I don’t want to watch anybody else

Melinda Wilson: cry and that’s not what it’s about at all. So the social worker there at the cancer center who they had had a project 31 group in Stillwater before covid and of course it shut down but there were some requests to bring it back and so Tanya shared that video with Sarah and we met for lunch. I got to meet a couple of the other people on staff and This is great. This is exactly you know, I’d been ministry minded most of my life and this was just the slice of life that it fit right into where I was at and to be able to support find support or connect people. There’s a huge network of

Melinda Wilson: people like okay. I do not know the answer to that. I did not have a you know, I did a lumpectomy. I did not do double mastectomy or single mastectomy. I don’t know much about that and I love how the group just stays in her lane. Like let’s not talk for about things that we don’t know. David Raubach: Right. Melinda Wilson: And the support that it has been just even post of like oh, that’s why that was and just the continued conversations and community that allows people just hold exactly where they’re at. Maybe take steps forward maybe we just sit there with people. David Raubach: Right. Melinda Wilson: And so that that piece of my life is you know

Melinda Wilson: I I teach and train martial arts through the week and that has its own meeting people where they’re at. But to be able to walk alongside of somebody who’s had breast cancer is I mean it’s not fun. I don’t want to say oh it’s so much fun. But it’s very fulfilling. David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: It’s like a piece of my life that I can give back. David Raubach: Mhm. So describe uh describe a meeting. Cuz cuz you guys get together. Melinda Wilson: Yeah. Um the meetings range. Some nights we do crafts. We have a co-leader her name is Stephanie. I do not do crafts. David Raubach: Okay. Melinda Wilson: I am a martial artist which means I don’t I don’t

Melinda Wilson: color very well within the lines. And so we sometimes David Raubach: you have are the colors of your belts. Melinda Wilson: Exactly. David Raubach: The belts are stacked on the mantel above your fireplace. Yeah. Melinda Wilson: Those are those are from the beginning. Those are the actual belts I I earned. David Raubach: Not given. I earned them. Um Melinda Wilson: The first one the white one you said that in the video. That’s the that’s the one you get. David Raubach: That’s the one you get. Melinda Wilson: you the white one and then all the colors after that. You have to earn those. Yeah. David Raubach: That’s exactly right. Good good memory on that. Um our meetings are we we come together and you know

Melinda Wilson: there are times where people share and talk about but really we want to just give people as much information as I can. Um whether it’s physical therapy of like okay here’s lymphedema. What do you do with that? Okay I need some sort of prosthetic for my breast or I need a certain bra. So we have different types of people come in and try to rotate through that. Um we have a um licensed professional therapist that comes in and talks about the the last two months ago I think she talked about I think two months ago. I know that she talked to just about relationships. Not necessarily about married relationships but like how it affects friendships

Melinda Wilson: and relationships. I mean as walking through it some people they want to ask every question and then some people are like they don’t know what to ask. And so normalizing some of that and helping people understand what their process is is very helpful. So it’s a it’s an hour. We try to be very respectful of the time just so that people are like, “Okay, I don’t want to get caught there for 2 and 1/2 hours listening to somebody tell their whole life story.” David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: And although we’ll make time for that. Like I’ll be happy to go to lunch with somebody and say, “Tell me more.” And give them an ear to talk to.

Melinda Wilson: And but just community. David Raubach: Yeah. This is This It sounds like it’s an opportunity to A, kind of have this solidarity with people that are walking through a similar journey. And like you said, not every journey is exactly the same, but at least kind of generally speaking, you’re all kind of walking along the same path of being diagnosed with cancer and going through treatment. And then uh but it’s also this opportunity to ask these very specific questions that you may have where you’re like, “I don’t I don’t know the answer to this or I don’t know what to expect with this particular aspect of treatment.” Or like you said, it’s not it doesn’t even have

David Raubach: to be treatment related. How do I talk to my kids? How do I talk to my spouse? How do I talk to my co-workers? Melinda Wilson: Right. David Raubach: Um how do I deal with I mean, you probably get questions about the freezing the freezing caps that you were wearing. Melinda Wilson: saw my alien. They call me Jiffy Pop. David Raubach: Yeah. So that’s like, you know, not everybody knows about that, right? Melinda Wilson: No, you you you don’t. And you really have to rely on people. Now, I I have had many conversations with people and I will tell you this daughter cancer center peeps, the nurses and the staff I just felt like their hands were here guiding me.

Melinda Wilson: Like, you know, because David Raubach: Yeah. They were They were making sure that they were walking along with you Melinda Wilson: I did not Yeah. Well, I didn’t have any questions. I didn’t know what to ask. I You know, it’s like, “Okay, show up. Okay, what does it look like back there?” Well, let’s show you. They I mean, they have a day where you come in and here’s your manual. Here’s a whole It’s It’s a thick book and like this is every contact number that you’re going to need. This is all your medications and they give you a binder with all the information. And okay, here we go. I show up when? Here at the front desk?

Melinda Wilson: Okay. And then And so I I really and they hooked me up with a lymphedema specialist at from the from get-go because having um lymph nodes taken out can cause some problems and I mean, some people just don’t get that information. And so that’s one thing Project 31 comes alongside and like, “Oh, well, let’s let’s make sure that everybody has the information that they need.” Um But they um I What was your question? I forgot. David Raubach: That’s No, that’s okay. Melinda Wilson: I totally forgot. I started talking about cervical cancer. I’m like, “Man, they were good to me, but please ask me next.” David Raubach: happens to me, too. Well, I I think what I do want

David Raubach: to make sure that people are aware of is that you’re you’re one of the leaders and so if somebody is in Stillwater or the Stillwater area and they want to get connected uh with you guys, how can they do that? Melinda Wilson: You know, they can they can contact they could go to project31.com and fill out a request and the several people that manage that, they will absolutely connect it to the area that they are in. So, if they’re not in Stillwater, if they’re in Oklahoma City, there are many groups that meet in um Oklahoma City. David Raubach: over the state. Melinda Wilson: the state. This Stillwater specifically, they can contact the Stillwater Cancer Center and talk to

Melinda Wilson: uh the licensed counselor there. Her name is Tanya. Um You can contact me. You know, you can reach me at melindajwilson@gmail.com. David Raubach: you go. melindajwilson@gmail.com. Melinda Wilson: email me or you know, phone number. They can David Raubach: When you’re willing to help, right? I mean, that’s that’s what you want to do. Melinda Wilson: Well, I have talked to a couple people here recently and they just needed to hear somebody else say, “Yep, I remember that phone call.” David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: I remember that, “Okay, I’m showing up.” Or I got on the internet and got my report before the doctors called me. You know, we do that now. David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: And so you see the word carcinoma and

Melinda Wilson: you know that that means cancer, but you have no idea what the other words around it mean. David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: So people start asking. Um so reach out and find somebody to ask that. And Project 31, I’m so glad that they found me and then I kind of found them and joined their ministry and their their heart. David Raubach: So I I have just a couple questions to close out today, Melinda. So one, you’re a uh religious person. Melinda Wilson: Absolutely. David Raubach: Um and so I think you know, you’ve thought about kind of the deeper meaning of life and life after death. Melinda Wilson: Yeah. David Raubach: How has your cancer journey interplayed with that I’ll say like meaning

David Raubach: of life? Have you thought about like Do you have an answer to the question why did you get cancer? Melinda Wilson: Um David Raubach: And I don’t mean physically why did you get cancer, but like in terms of just your purpose here on earth. Melinda Wilson: My purpose on earth is to bring glory to God. David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: Um when I sat down with somebody actually from Project 31 and they wanted to know my story, I said, “My story? Okay, I would I was I gave my life to the Lord at 6 years old.” And she’s like, “No, no, no, that’s not what I mean.” David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: And she says, “Your cancer story.” David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: I

Melinda Wilson: said, “Cancer is a slice of my journey. It is a It is just a place and so how can I bring glory to God? Whether I live or die, I want him to have all the glory. And what it did for me, it made me stronger. It made me deal dig my heels in harder David Raubach: Mhm. Melinda Wilson: to my purpose here is to love others and to guide others and point them to Christ. And so yeah, I had cancer and it can be a death sentence. David Raubach: Right. Melinda Wilson: And it’s still may be a death sentence at some point. And that’s okay. Because my life is my life and can I point others to him?

Melinda Wilson: And I don’t preach at everybody that I come into contact with that has cancer. David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: But when they ask the question, they open the door. Let me tell you about my savior. David Raubach: Yeah. When you’re living this out with I I can see it in you uh this this confidence and just positive attitude through the challenges and trials that you’ve been through and really focused you it’s just amazing to see somebody who’s taken the focus off themself and really put it now on other people and saying I want to give back and help those people. Melinda Wilson: But I don’t want people to you know who are watching this, it’s still tough. David Raubach: Yeah.

Melinda Wilson: I mean you’re seeing me now almost four years post. There are tears, there are hard times and we own them, we acknowledge them. And yes, let’s give back but it’s not it was not all fun and games. David Raubach: Yeah, right. There’s there’s some low low points. Melinda Wilson: very low very low places. But you look up and you get up. David Raubach: So if somebody and so this is my final question. Somebody’s been diagnosed with cancer. They’re they’re February 22nd, 2022 where you were and you happen to be with them at that point. What do you what do you tell that person? What are what are you saying to that person at that point? Melinda Wilson: I

Melinda Wilson: say I’m here. David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: Like I don’t ask questions yet. Um one thing I’ve learned is that most people will talk when they’re ready to. David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: Or they’ll ask start asking you questions. Sometimes you’re just like, well, tell me about you. David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: And so more than anything just knowing that somebody’s there beside them, sometimes words are not necessary. David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: And so if I could leave if I had me sitting there, it is community knowing that you’re not alone. I had my husband, I had my church, I had some really close friends that they knew the other, you know, they knew that it wasn’t all smiles. They knew that

Melinda Wilson: I snuck into church and sat just sat. David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: But just being there with somebody. David Raubach: Yeah. And never give up. Melinda Wilson: And never give up. Pat Jack Pull Goal. David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: My instructors who are in Texas they’ll be proud of that. David Raubach: Yeah. Perfect. Melinda Wilson: Yeah. Pat Jack Pull Goal. David Raubach: Well, thank you so much and this is amazing. Melinda Wilson: Thank you for having me. Thank you for David Raubach: you sharing your story. Melinda Wilson: I’m happy to. I just want people to know they’re not alone. David Raubach: Yeah. Melinda Wilson: And that there’s resources out there for everybody. David Raubach: Yeah. Well, thank you. Melinda Wilson: Thank you very much. David Raubach: The Cancer Project podcast is made

David Raubach: possible by the Oklahoma Proton Center. A state-of-the-art cancer center where precision in treatment meets real compassion in care. We’re grateful for their support and for you for spending this time with us. If you’d like to learn more about the Oklahoma Proton Center, you can visit their website at the link below. And if something you heard today resonated, we’d love for you to stick with us. You can subscribe to the podcast and follow along on our socials linked below for more conversations like this. Honest stories, thoughtful perspectives, and the kind of support people don’t always know where to find but do truly need. At the end of the day, this podcast isn’t just about cancer. It’s

David Raubach: about what it means to be human inside of it and how we keep living, connecting, and moving forward together. We hope you leave each episode feeling a little bit more informed, a little bit more supported, and a lot less alone.