From Big Brother to Bigger Battles: Britney Haynes’ Story of Strength
Episode Summary
In this deeply personal and wide-ranging episode, David Raubach sits down with Britney Haynes, a familiar face from CBS reality programs Big Brother, The Amazing Race, and The Traitors, who now serves on the marketing team at the Oklahoma Proton Center in Tulsa. Far beyond her television career, Britney is the mother of Tilly, a pediatric cancer survivor who was diagnosed with neuroblastoma at just eight weeks old. The episode moves fluidly between proton therapy education, the harrowing reality of parenting a critically ill infant, and a candid look at what life looks like more than a decade after treatment ends.
Britney’s advocacy for proton therapy is both professional and genuinely informed. Having spent years immersed in pediatric oncology Facebook groups even after her daughter’s treatment concluded, she arrived at the Oklahoma Proton Center already aware of the photon-versus-proton debate that parents in radiation decisions face constantly. On the podcast she delivers a confident, layperson-friendly explanation of the Bragg peak; the point of maximum dose deposition that allows proton beams to stop inside a tumor with no exit dose, and explains why that property is especially critical for pediatric patients whose organs are still developing and who may live seven or more decades post-treatment. She even correctly situates the Bragg peak within the Oklahoma Proton Center’s own logo during the episode.
The conversation’s emotional center is Britney’s account of Tilly’s diagnosis and the years that followed. Born full-term after a routine pregnancy, Tilly showed no warning signs; Britney had not even known that cancer could originate in utero. The neuroblastoma diagnosis at eight weeks old forced Britney to immediately become a full-time medical manager, researching specialists nationally and internationally, changing chemotherapy diapers with gloves and a mask, coordinating weekly physical therapy sessions, and eventually flying the family to Boston, Chicago, and Los Angeles in search of additional opinions. She reflects candidly on the obsessive but ultimately exhausting pursuit of a cure, and the hard-won emotional work required to accept that some of Tilly’s long-term effects, including a leg brace and ongoing physical therapy, are permanent. A pivotal moment came when Tilly herself told her mother to stop trying to “fix” her.
A striking segment of the episode addresses the systemic underfunding of pediatric oncology. Britney points out that only one chemotherapy agent has been developed specifically for the pediatric population since 2004, meaning children with neuroblastoma and other pediatric cancers, whose tumors carry distinct genetic biomarkers rather than the environmental triggers common in adult malignancies, are still treated with the same agents, many developed between the 1950s and 1980s, used for adults. Only 4% of cancer research funding is directed toward pediatric cancers, a disparity highlighted by the “More Than Four” awareness campaign. With federal research funding currently under pressure, Britney and David emphasize the urgency of independent clinical trials and immunotherapy research for this underserved population.
The episode closes on a theme of identity and resilience. Britney describes the internal struggle of reconciling her public persona, known for dry wit, sarcasm, and one-liners, with the gravity of what she and Tilly had survived. Referencing Princess Catherine’s public remarks about cancer creating a “before and after” in one’s identity, Britney describes a gradual metamorphosis rather than a clean return to her former self. She also discusses bringing Tilly into her own medical narrative as she grew older, the therapeutic value of peer communities for pediatric cancer families, and her belief that every patient and caregiver must be their own most relentless advocate. Listeners are directed to Britney’s Patreon at patreon.com/britneyhaynes and her social channels at @britney_haynes.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode
- Proton vs. Photon Radiation: Traditional photon (X-ray) radiation travels entirely through the body, delivering an entry dose and an exit dose. Proton therapy stops the beam inside the tumor at the Bragg peak, eliminating exit dose and sparing surrounding healthy tissue.
- The Bragg Peak: Named after physicist William H. Bragg, the Bragg peak is the point of maximum energy deposition in proton therapy. It allows clinicians to concentrate dose precisely inside a tumor and then achieve an immediate drop-off, protecting adjacent organs and structures.
- Why Proton Therapy Matters Most for Pediatrics: Because children’s organs are still developing and their survivorship can extend seven or more decades, minimizing radiation exposure to healthy tissue is especially critical; a tumor site that might be treated with photons in an adult is often a proton candidate in a child.
- Neuroblastoma and In-Utero Diagnosis: Neuroblastoma, the cancer Britney’s daughter Tilly was diagnosed with at eight weeks old, can originate and in some cases be detected before birth. Many parents, and even some physicians, are unaware that malignant cells can develop in utero.
- Chemotherapy and Pediatric Patients: Only one chemotherapy agent has been developed specifically for the pediatric population since 2004. Children with cancer are largely treated with the same agents developed between the 1950s and 1980s that are used for adult patients, despite pediatric tumors having distinct genetic biomarkers.
- The “More Than Four” Campaign: Only 4% of cancer research funding in the United States is directed toward pediatric cancers. The “More Than Four” and “Go Gold” movements, especially visible during Childhood Cancer Awareness Month in September, advocate for greater research investment in this underserved population.
- Long-Term Side Effects in Pediatric Survivors: Because children are still growing during treatment, major interventions, surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation, frequently produce lasting side effects. These can range from physical challenges such as the brace Tilly wears, to cognitive effects like ADHD that may only become apparent years later in a school setting.
- The Power of Peer Community: Britney credits disease-specific online communities, including international groups for neuroblastoma, as essential sources of both medical knowledge and emotional support. She exchanged emails with parents in New Zealand and Greece whose children were diagnosed at the same time as Tilly.
- Being Your Own Advocate: No single physician has complete knowledge of every treatment option, particularly for rare cancers. Britney and David emphasize that patients and caregivers must actively seek second, third, and fourth opinions, stay current on clinical trials, and never assume one doctor has the full picture.
- Talking to Your Child About Their Diagnosis: With guidance from a therapist, Britney developed a deliberate approach to bringing Tilly into conversations about her own medical history as she grew older, including letting her become an active participant in appointments, preserving her privacy and building her sense of agency over her own body.
- Identity After Cancer: Britney describes a profound identity shift after Tilly’s diagnosis, echoing Princess Catherine’s public remarks about cancer creating a distinct “before and after.” She spent years working through how her sarcastic, humorous public persona could coexist with the depth of what her family had experienced, ultimately finding that the two could be integrated over time.
Britney Haynes brings a rare combination of lived experience, hard-won knowledge, and genuine warmth to a conversation that refuses to stay in one lane. Whether she is dissecting the physics of proton therapy, describing the particular loneliness of changing chemotherapy diapers while friends from her birth class discussed teething, or recounting a tearful breakdown at a St. Baldrick’s shirt sighting in a Ugandan market, she is always precise, honest, and unexpectedly funny. This episode is an essential listen for parents navigating a pediatric cancer diagnosis, for anyone curious about the real-world gaps in oncology research funding, and for anyone who has ever wondered what it looks like to rebuild an identity on the other side of something devastating, and still show up, brace and all.
Full Transcript
Read Full Transcript
Transcript generated from the episode’s audio. Speaker names are identified from the context of the conversation rather than from recorded speaker data, and automatic transcription may misspell names and terminology. Please refer to the video for the authoritative version.
David Raubach: Thank you for joining us on today’s episode of the Cancer Project podcast. We are really privileged to have Britney Haynes with us today. Many of you may know her from very popular reality TV shows like Big Brother, Amazing Race, and Traitors. We are very fortunate to have her as an integral part of the marketing team at the Oklahoma Proton Center, but she also has a very unique experience as the mother of a pediatric cancer survivor. And so we’re going to cross all of those topics today on the podcast. We hope that you will enjoy this episode. Britney, thank you so much for joining us today. Welcome.
Britney Haynes: Thanks for having me.
David Raubach: Yeah, absolutely. So, you work with us at the Oklahoma Proton Center. I think, how long have you been working with us?
Britney Haynes: 3 years.
David Raubach: Okay. And I remember that first conversation that we had at the, what was the Mexican restaurant in Tulsa?
Britney Haynes: Los Cabos.
David Raubach: Yeah, down on the Riverwalk. We were sitting there eating chips and salsa talking a little bit about your experience as a as the mom of a pediatric cancer survivor, but then also talking a little bit about proton therapy. Yeah. Do you remember what we talked about then? Like what did, had you heard of proton therapy at that point?
Britney Haynes: So, being that I have been in sort of the pediatric oncology world, I feel that I’m more versed than probably the average person. So, I had heard of it in that I am in various like Facebook groups, etc. That and I always try to stay current on like whatever, I never left them, even though my daughter’s treatment was 12 years ago. I never left those groups because I always wanted to stay current on whatever the new therapies were, if we had new treatment modalities, whatever, all the things. I, maybe it’s anxiety, I don’t know. I just never wanted to to leave and like close it completely. So, I have seen probably hundreds of posts about photon versus proton therapy.
Britney Haynes: That’s a question that I have seen be asked countless times from parents who are, you know, if their child is going through radiation treatment. So, I was aware of it, although my daughter never had radiation. So, it wasn’t a personal choice that I had to make, but I was aware of it just through osmosis of the pediatric oncology world.
David Raubach: Aware there was a proton center in Oklahoma City? Or
Britney Haynes: No, I don’t think so. Not in the state of Oklahoma. Really have an idea that it was like so rare or any of like the details of it, where the nearest one was, anything like that. Just aware that this is a thing. This is a thing that exists that some people seek out.
David Raubach: So, we have t-shirts that we wear at the proton center that say ask me about proton therapy on the back of the t-shirt.
Britney Haynes: Yes.
David Raubach: You’ve had the privilege of wearing those t-shirts from time to time.
Britney Haynes: All the time.
David Raubach: Yeah, a staple of your wardrobe.
Britney Haynes: Yeah, no, they’re great.
David Raubach: So, when someone asks you at the grocery store about proton therapy, what do you tell them?
Britney Haynes: Oh my gosh, I’m like an expert now. I actually do believe that. I’m actually super good at it.
David Raubach: That is true.
Britney Haynes: It, well, and the truth is I do believe in it. Like I do actually really believe in the science of proton therapy, and I understand that it’s not always indicated for everyone, but especially in like a pediatric population where every organ structure is really developing and so critical, it’s especially a great choice for pediatric patients. But essentially, protons versus photons, traditional radiation is photon radiation or x-rays, which travel all the way through the body. They cannot stop inside of the body. So, you have an entry dose, you have exit dose, and it is a sort of broader brush of radiation going through your body. The difference is proton therapy, we are able to stop the beam inside the tumor. So, you have no exit dose going through all the way through the body, and it protects those organs and structures around the tumor, so that there’s less long term damage. And specific to pediatrics, when you’re talking about surviving another 70 years,
David Raubach: Mhm.
Britney Haynes: it’s so much even more imperative, more important that you protect those healthy tissues, that you protect those critical organ structures. So, in the same tumor that maybe in an adult, you may not consider that they might want to explore proton therapy, in a child, you would.
David Raubach: Right.
Britney Haynes: Because it’s even more important as a part of their overall development and the fact that they’re still growing, those cells are still multiplying, that they need to protect those structures.
David Raubach: That was, that was so good. I don’t know if you could explain it even. That might have been better than I could have explained it. You must work in marketing for a proton center. I was going to say you’re hired, but you’re already here, so, you’re stuck with us.
Britney Haynes: I mean, I really do believe in it, though. Like truly. And I have had a lot of people that are skeptical, especially like when I first started working for the proton center, I had multiple doctors be like, “What is that? That seems weird. Like, what? Isn’t that like experimental? Like, you know, is that really a thing?” I’ve had to defend it like many times and be like, “No, it is a thing.”
David Raubach: The pitch you give them when you’re defending it? Or are you a little more sensitive?
Britney Haynes: Like one thing that I like to leave with, it’s pretty much always like, “If you were treating your child, this is is route that you would go.” So, just
David Raubach: Right. It’s hard to argue with that.
Britney Haynes: speaks for itself. Whether you want to do that with your own, you know, with your prostate, that’s on you. You make that choice. But, if this was a child,
David Raubach: Yeah.
Britney Haynes: it when those when, you know, protecting those organs, it’s so important. Less damage is possible to healthy tissue. You’re looking at long, long term survival and having the least amount of side effects possible, it is something that you are going to explore to seek out. And that’s, that speaks for itself, I think.
David Raubach: So, I’m going to really put you on the spot now.
Britney Haynes: Oh, no.
David Raubach: We have a rare version of the Oklahoma Proton Center shirt.
Britney Haynes: Okay.
David Raubach: This is like the, you know, the limited edition La Bou Bous that everybody is trying to get right now. We have a limited edition Oklahoma Proton Center shirt that says ask me about the Bragg peak.
Britney Haynes: Oh, of course I know about it. I’ve never even seen this shirt before.
David Raubach: Yeah, I mean, it, I only break it out a couple times a year. To ask me about William H. Bragg? I am going to ask you two G’s about the Bragg peak.
Britney Haynes: The two G’s Bragg peak. Yeah. Know all about it. Let’s go.
David Raubach: Okay. What’s a Bragg peak?
Britney Haynes: The Bragg peak is what differentiates proton therapy really in that it is able to, you’re able to minimize the amount of dose that’s going in and the explosion or the Bragg peak or the firework, if you want to,
David Raubach: Oh, yeah.
Britney Haynes: visualize it. The Bragg peak is the, it’s the point of maximum dose deposited. The dose that’s deposited and they can do that inside the tumor and then an immediate drop off. That is named after William H. Bragg, who I believe identified this property.
David Raubach: Yep.
Britney Haynes: And it is what differentiate, and it’s also a part of our logo.
David Raubach: Going to say. Look at this on the O to the K. That is representative of the Bragg peak right there.
Britney Haynes: The visual aid.
David Raubach: Yeah, that was really good. Nice try though.
Britney Haynes: Yeah, yeah.
David Raubach: Any other brain busters?
Britney Haynes: Yeah, you came prepared.
David Raubach: No, I won’t ask you what year the cyclotron was invented and who invented it.
Britney Haynes: I could get really close. Okay. I could get really close. The cyclotron specifically was, cyclotron. We need, this was at Berkeley.
David Raubach: Okay, yeah. So you got the location.
Britney Haynes: Okay, it was Berkeley and I want to say it was the late 40s.
David Raubach: A little bit earlier.
Britney Haynes: It was,
David Raubach: Yeah.
Britney Haynes: a little bit earlier.
David Raubach: Yeah. Do you know the person who invented the cyclotron?
Britney Haynes: The, what is it, the father of proton therapy? Oh god, I’ve heard this so many times. The father of proton therapy is, what’s it, give her a hint.
David Raubach: First name is Robert.
Britney Haynes: So he, he’s the father of proton therapy. It’s, it’s somebody else who invented the cyclotron. Okay. And his, his name of Robert Wilson. I would have said that so I didn’t even have the right
David Raubach: A very important figure in the history of proton therapy, Robert Wilson. He wrote the seminal paper in 1946 that described how protons and this physical principle of the Bragg peak could be used to treat cancer patients.
Britney Haynes: Okay.
David Raubach: So that he publishes this paper in 1946. Now he was a PhD student at the California Berkeley Radiation Laboratory working for, the person who was running the laboratory or jointly running the laboratory, Robert Oppenheimer and Ernest Lawrence. Oh, I screwed that up. I have heard this so many times on the cyclotron tour circuit.
Britney Haynes: Yeah. I’ve heard you give this speech so many times. So many times, so many times you just, you black out at this point.
David Raubach: Suit, and why did I, where is that name coming from? Suit was a really important figure. So he was the radiation oncologist that was running the program at the Harvard Cyclotron Lab
Britney Haynes: I knew you were trying to trick me.
David Raubach: In the ’60s, ’70s, and ’80s.
Britney Haynes: When you said specifically Cyclotron, I was like, “Mhm, this is tricky.”
David Raubach: Yeah, we went way back.
Britney Haynes: Yeah, so, this is even trickier. This isn’t even the father.
David Raubach: No, yeah. So, so Ernest Lawrence, and so now the Radiation Laboratory bears his name. So, it’s the Lawrence Berkeley Laboratory out in California.
Britney Haynes: So, we almost passed. We were so close. I should know that. I feel like we got closer than anybody else with that.
David Raubach: Well, now you have, you got, you got the location. You got Heather, you got Robert Wilson, the father of proton therapy. And Herman Suit, Herman Suit’s a deep dive. And again, he was a really important figure in, I guess just to close the loop on, and then we’ll get back to you and your story, Brittany. Let me just close the loop here on the history of proton therapy while we’re at it.
David Raubach: So, Robert Wilson publishes the paper in 1946. 1954, the first patient is treated with proton therapy at Cal Berkeley Laboratory by John Lawrence, Dr. John Lawrence, who’s Ernest Lawrence’s brother. So, you know, famous brothers today, Jason and Travis Kelce.
Britney Haynes: Well, these were the Jason and Travis Kelce equivalent, yeah, of their time.
David Raubach: John of science, yeah. John Lawrence and Ernest Lawrence. So, ’54, then there were thousands of patients treated in the United States with protons in the ’60s, ’70s, and ’80s. And a lot of those patients were treated under the supervision of Herman Suit. So, what we, in terms of developing protocols for how to use protons, what’s the appropriate dose, how do we immobilize patients on the table, how many treatments is that patient going to get, Herman Suit and his team did a lot to develop that at the Harvard Cyclotron Lab in the ’60s, ’70s, and ’80s.
Britney Haynes: So, ’60s, ’70s, and ’80s, so hardly experimental in this day and age.
David Raubach: No, that, and that brings up a good point cuz I think one of the dynamics, so you’re in Tulsa.
Britney Haynes: That’s right.
David Raubach: We’re in Oklahoma City. The proton center is in Oklahoma City, so there’s not a proton center in Tulsa.
Britney Haynes: Correct.
David Raubach: So part of your challenge is you’re going out and meeting with physicians and talking in the community, is that there’s just less awareness
Britney Haynes: Definitely.
David Raubach: of therapy because there’s not a proton center in Tulsa.
Britney Haynes: Definitely. And especially if they’re not, if they’re not specifically a radiation oncologist or someone who works closely in radiology. If they’re a general practitioner or an OBGYN or any, any of those, they’re not as versed specifically in radiation, obviously, and so they really don’t have a good understanding. That’s usually something that they refer out and they don’t oversee that treatment anyhow. And so there’s really just like a lack of awareness and understanding and it’s something that maybe they’ve heard of before, but as there’s not a, a presence in Tulsa, it’s not something that they’ve like explored or looked into. So I would definitely say that’s the consensus, but I mean, to call something that has been used for that long, to think that people still think of it as experimental is a little crazy.
David Raubach: Yeah, without doing the research. It’s a little bit more a lack of awareness than anything.
Britney Haynes: Mhm.
David Raubach: So I want to talk a little bit about the experience that you had with your daughter, and you’ve been, we have pediatric cancer awareness month.
Britney Haynes: That’s right, September.
David Raubach: Is in September. Go gold.
Britney Haynes: Go gold.
David Raubach: And you’ve been a fantastic advocate. So just kind of, I know this has been over 13 years at this point, but talk just a little bit about the experience and the reality of being the mom of a kid who had pediatric cancer. What, what is that just been like for you?
Britney Haynes: Too. Yeah. Right.
David Raubach: Yeah, I mean your first, new mom to your first child.
Britney Haynes: A new mom. Yeah, okay. So, I, what would I, how would I
David Raubach: You can start wherever, yeah. It’s very open ended question.
Britney Haynes: Not anything that I ever prepared for or saw as like in the in my future whatsoever. I would say so I did reality TV when I was much younger. I did my first season of Big Brother when I was 22. I did my second season when I was 24 and newly married. And as soon as I finished that second season, I almost immediately got pregnant with my daughter.
David Raubach: Mhm.
Britney Haynes: And was so excited. Like being a mom was something that I always always always wanted. Like I couldn’t have been more excited. And I, everything was presumed healthy my entire pregnancy. Like I had a very easy pregnancy. Everything was presumed to be fine. Even she was born full term and everything was presumed to be completely fine even at that time. And it just wasn’t. And why would it be? It wasn’t on my radar at all. This wasn’t even, I feel like when you’re pregnant you do encounter genetic testing for various markers, you know, they look, they know to look for markers for things like Down syndrome or other chromosomal abnormalities.
David Raubach: On track, if they’re not growing on track.
Britney Haynes: Yeah, like you have, so you’re constantly kind of in tune to, you know, hopefully that they’re healthy. You go through, you get a, you get your 20 week
David Raubach: Anatomy scan.
Britney Haynes: Ultrasound anatomy scan and you breathe a sigh of relief and you’re like, oh good. Like all good. Like, you know, we’re healthy. So, of course that was like my, my mindset too. And even in terms of things that maybe you are warned about or that you are cautioned about you kind of grapple with the possibility of it and then you just like breathe a sigh of relief and move on. But so for me obviously this wasn’t even, I, I had honestly, I didn’t even know that babies could have cancer.
David Raubach: Right.
Britney Haynes: I didn’t even know that that was possible. You know, I have of course like everyone else had seen like commercials for St. Jude’s and things like that. So I knew that childhood cancer existed. I was unaware that you could be born like a child could be born with cancer. I didn’t even know that that was
David Raubach: Yeah.
Britney Haynes: possible.
David Raubach: I, I don’t, I think a lot of people don’t realize that.
Britney Haynes: Yeah.
David Raubach: That, that, that those malignant cells actually can literally be developing in utero.
Britney Haynes: In utero, yes. Actually some are diagnosed in utero. There are cases of her cancer type specifically that are diagnosed in utero and babies born that are already presenting symptoms at birth.
David Raubach: Wow.
Britney Haynes: From their tumor location. But anyhow, so I go through my whole pregnancy. I’m like a spazzy anxious type anyway. Like that’s just like how I always am. So very like psycho obsessed with every single move that this baby is making, you know. And so just, I don’t even know what to say. Like the moment that it actually happens is life altering. It’s life altering. It’s surreal.
David Raubach: Yeah.
Britney Haynes: It’s not something that you can prepare for or that was even a possibility like in the furthest reaches of my mind. Like I said, I I had never even heard that this could happen even on, you know, something that I saw
David Raubach: Right.
Britney Haynes: once scrolling the internet or whatever. I I didn’t even know it was a possibility. So I mean it turned our lives completely upside down obviously.
David Raubach: Yeah.
Britney Haynes: And I feel forever changed from it. I feel that it is a definitive part of me now.
David Raubach: Mhm.
Britney Haynes: And that experience obviously changed our entire family. I think changed the dynamic of who we are today.
David Raubach: Right.
Britney Haynes: And not to over dramatize it, but it really is that impactful. I mean, it really is that soul crushing.
David Raubach: Yeah.
Britney Haynes: And I feel that a lot of adults, I’ve heard so many adult cancer patients say like “Oh, well, I would rather it be me than my child or my grandchild or whatever.”
David Raubach: That is so true.
Britney Haynes: Yeah. It really is. Like, you would rather, you would rather take it for yourself.
David Raubach: Yeah. Anything.
Britney Haynes: Yeah. But your child.
David Raubach: Yeah. That’s the hardest.
Britney Haynes: Yeah. That’s the hardest thing I think to kind of grapple with. You feel helpless, you feel powerless. And yeah, it’s terrible. What was the question? It’s awful.
David Raubach: We’ve heard from other parents too just say, like you said, we wish we could take this from them, but also it never leaves you even, you know, it’s been 13 years and you’ve had hit some milestones that are great. You hit 5 years. What did that look like? What did you do to celebrate? You did something specific.
Britney Haynes: It’s such a, that’s such a mixed bag of emotions for me is like celebrating those things, but also particularly to a pediatric population, I think that this is a different thing because you are also always aware of how your emotions are going to impact them and their perception of it. And so for the longest time because my daughter Tilly was so young when she was diagnosed, she was 8 weeks old. And presumably it was in utero, but it was at 8 weeks old that it was detected. And so I actually feel like it’s one of those weird, you can find a silver lining in just about any situation, but for me one of those silver linings with her age a diagnosis was that for the longest time I could just be fully psycho tailspin mode. Like, I could just have fear all over my face and live it because I didn’t really have to shield her from it so much. You know what I mean?
Britney Haynes: Whereas I feel like with some, even older children, you would have to always be really cautious about how your emotions are also reading to them or
David Raubach: Yeah, cuz they pick up on that.
Britney Haynes: They, they would pick up on the stress and all those things. So, I did always feel pretty fortunate that when we were in the worst of it and in the thick of it that she doesn’t really have any recollection of it. And I do feel like that, that’s a blessing. Sorry, I had something in my face.
David Raubach: So, what, that said, you bring up an interesting point cuz we talked to another family recently from the United Kingdom
Britney Haynes: Mhm.
David Raubach: who actually came back to celebrate their son being 10 years out of treatment. And he also was treated before his first birthday.
Britney Haynes: Yeah.
David Raubach: And so, they had to navigate that. And he has some side effects from going through treatment, which I think the reality is from most pediatric patients because they’re still developing that any type of major intervention, whether it’s surgery or chemotherapy or radiation, there’s just, there’s just going to be signs or side effects of that as that kid develops. How did you navigate the process of talking to your daughter about what she had gone through when she was 8 weeks old?
Britney Haynes: It was actually such a, I feel like a beautiful and therapeutic process that I myself went to therapy and really learned a lot of like tools and ways to go about this in the healthiest possible way. Because when she was younger, it was very easy for me to just like put my head down and me take charge of everything and to navigate everything and get through it. As she grew and got older and started to ask questions, why are we doing this? Why do I, why do we have all these appointments? Why do I do this every week? We got to start incorporating some of those conversations and it was always really important to me to protect, to protect her privacy. And what I mean when I say that is, I didn’t want other people to know more about what was happening in her body than she even knew.
David Raubach: Right.
Britney Haynes: Because she was so young. And so when she grew to a point that I could start letting her in on this is what happened, this is why we do this, and start having some of those conversations, it actually was really helpful for me, too. It kind of felt like I had carried this load for a really long time. And now being able to share it and explain it actually made it easier on me. And we still do have conversations about it all the time. Like she’s very aware of it. She knows, I want her to be participatory in doctor’s appointments. You know, for the longest time I took her to the doctor and she, she was just sitting there.
David Raubach: Oh, right.
Britney Haynes: Yeah. But I’m the one asking all the questions,
David Raubach: talking.
Britney Haynes: Yeah. I mean, she’s just there to be looked at and you’re talking to me. And so I love now that she gets to be engaged and is a part of the conversation and gets to have an opinion and also gets to have a say
David Raubach: Yeah.
Britney Haynes: and gets educated on everything around her body, on everything around neuroblastoma in general. I’ve been able to really incorporate her into it all and it’s actually been really really nice and really helpful.
David Raubach: Yeah.
Britney Haynes: And I do feel like it’s been special for the two of us cuz we’re kind of the only two at this point, really. I mean, my husband, love him. He’s great. But I’m the medical manager, you know? Like that was my
David Raubach: I want to take you with me to my appointment. I feel like you are way more organized and ask all the right questions.
Britney Haynes: So, and that was always my role. Like he worked
David Raubach: Uh-huh.
Britney Haynes: full time obviously. I stayed home with her and was the primary caretaker. I was the one organizing all the things and going to the appointments. That’s another silver lining, too, is that I always had the expectation that when she was born, even if she was completely healthy, I was staying home with her. I see so many scenarios where people are, it’s so much more of an imposition in life, you know, they, if you’re a single mom, how do you now have this immunocompromised small child that needs full time care and needs all of these things and now, but you also have to still live life. Like you still have to provide. You still have to take care of yourself and maybe other children. I mean, that’s the reality for most people.
David Raubach: Yeah. And that’s the reality a lot of times for adult cancer patients as well. They’re diagnosed with cancer, but they still have to go to work the next day.
Britney Haynes: Yeah. Or it’s, or like the mom that gets breast cancer and she has little kids at the house and she’s having to do chemotherapy and surgery and, yeah.
David Raubach: And not wanting to take away from their life or their activities. Like that’s so
Britney Haynes: Yeah. It, that’s why it’s all, I feel like always impactful no matter who it is. That’s one silver lining that I took out of my situation, too, was that I was able to give her a dedicated full time, all of my energy.
David Raubach: Yeah.
Britney Haynes: Yeah. Nonstop all the time cuz I kind of was already planning on it. So, it just went into like hyper aggressive mode. But that was another sort of silver lining.
David Raubach: So, I think one of the, one of the things that I’ve observed now is that you still have a lot of doctor’s appointments that you have to go to.
Britney Haynes: Yes.
David Raubach: And one of the realities with pediatric cancer is that because it’s so rare,
Britney Haynes: Mhm.
David Raubach: sometimes the specialists that deal with that cancer, they’re not just everywhere, you know? It’s not like a, a primary care physician where most people have a primary care physician they can access down the street. Sometimes you literally have had to travel for treatments. What’s
Britney Haynes: Well, I would say mostly. Most of the time, yes.
David Raubach: So, what, what’s been kind of the reality even 10 or 12, I think you said 12 years out of treatment, what’s that reality still like today as far as just navigating, dealing with some of the latent impacts of the treatment that she went through?
Britney Haynes: And that is
David Raubach: What her?
Britney Haynes: Yeah, just ask her one more time.
David Raubach: Okay. What has been the reality today of just having to deal with some of the latent side effects of the treatments that she went through as a baby?
Britney Haynes: I think particular to her, it’s even, there are even more. She is perma, she has permanent long term effects from her cancer type.
David Raubach: Mhm.
Britney Haynes: And she’s comfortable with knowing about it and saying that she has to wear a brace. She wears a brace on her leg, her foot. And so, there’s a lot of, she’s been doing physical therapy once a week since she was 8 weeks old. Actually, when she was inpatient, she would do it every day. So, physical therapy is something that we’ve had to continue on. And then, you know, she has had other side effects that we have had to deal with, combat. We have sought out opinions really all over the country because for the longest time, my mentality was if I can just uncover the right person or the right place, we can figure this out.
David Raubach: Yeah.
Britney Haynes: And so, it was just constant, a constant effort to find someone else. Find someone else who, who else, who else can I ask? And I think a lot of parents feel that way in the same situation and kind of do the same thing. And then eventually kind of reached a point where it was more maintenance.
David Raubach: Mhm.
Britney Haynes: But we’re still there now and she, and I’m going to be honest, she hates it. She hates it. She hates going to the doctor all the time.
David Raubach: Well, I think you’ve brought up to me before that there, there was actually a point where she actually went to you and was like, “Mom, we don’t need to actually keep trying to fix this. We don’t need to be flying to Boston or Chicago or LA.”
Britney Haynes: It took me a lot of years to be comfortable with that. Like, “Okay, I can put, can I put that down?” And we can just
David Raubach: Cuz be okay where we are.
Britney Haynes: It took me a really really long time to get there. To like stop the aggressive, not that I don’t still, not that I don’t still
David Raubach: Cuz you see your daughter and you see her in the brace and what’s the natural instinct of a parent is to say, “How can I fix this?”
Britney Haynes: You also see though how strong she is and resilient and she truly is one of the like sweetest, kindest, strongest
David Raubach: Yeah, such an amazing kid. You have done such a good job.
Britney Haynes: And I do think that she has an empathy for specifically for all types of disabilities, for all types of kids who are going through anything. She has a really special heart for that and it’s something that she’s, that’s one way that she has been impacted by it for sure outside of the obvious, but an emotional way that she was impacted by everything that she’s been through and everything that she’s done and continues to do. I mean, the sad reality is it’s every day of our life.
David Raubach: Yeah.
Britney Haynes: It’s every single day. There’s, we don’t get to forget about it and be like, “Oh, remember that?” Like it’s present in every day of our life. And that’s not true necessarily for every single patient. I would say that that’s case by case, but to your point in pediatrics most of the time especially if they have to go for a really aggressive therapy, if they have to have a combination of chemotherapy, radiation, surgery, most of the time there’s going to be
David Raubach: Yeah.
Britney Haynes: lingering long term side effects even if they’re cognitive, you know, even if it’s not something that they have to deal with on a functional physical level, you know, whenever you are later in school and you see an ADHD diagnosis you have to wonder
David Raubach: Right.
Britney Haynes: you’re going to recall, oh, whenever we sign the paperwork for that chemotherapy it specifically said that this was
David Raubach: Right.
Britney Haynes: one of the side effects is the ADHD, is there a, a correlation, is there a link, so I do think that it stays with you even if it’s not physically with you, it stays with you in that way as well.
David Raubach: So you have two more daughters.
Britney Haynes: That’s right.
David Raubach: Beautiful family, I also have three daughters so we bonded over that a little bit. What was the, what was the process for you going through a second and third pregnancy just mentally after what you dealt with with the first pregnancy?
Britney Haynes: Fully spaz like full anxiety riddled spaz. I did, I was able to do things a little bit differently mostly because I was very aggressive with, you know, more in depth scanning, whenever I had my anatomy scan I went to a high risk specialist that could see everything way more clear because that’s still a lingering question mark in my mind as if I had done that the first time could we have gotten there quicker and potentially not necessarily had to deal with a lot of the side effects that we still deal with today. So I was more on top of it in that sense. I also like really tried to take comfort in the statistics of the matter, not that you should, but this is the way that sometimes certain brains find comfort in just thinking about the sheer numbers of it all.
David Raubach: And does lightning strike twice type thing?
Britney Haynes: And kind of let that resonate in my mind as well, but, and I think that people probably thought that it was weird that I, because Tilly was only 10 months old, 4 months out of treatment when I got pregnant with my second baby.
David Raubach: Okay.
Britney Haynes: And that probably sounds insane. And maybe it was.
David Raubach: Yeah.
Britney Haynes: But my attitude at the time was very much that I didn’t want to let what had happened to us dictate the rest of my life.
David Raubach: Okay.
Britney Haynes: I don’t want it to have that power over what our goals always were for our family and, and I don’t know if that was, obviously I’m not going to say that was the wrong decision. I love my daughter very much, but I think that a lot of people would go “woah,” like wouldn’t you maybe take more time?
David Raubach: Yeah.
Britney Haynes: Maybe, but in that moment that was my mindset was like, I don’t want to alter all of our lives permanently forever because this happened. I want to still carry on as much as we can as we would have if it had never touched us. You know what I mean? And I think that’s probably why she’s so easy going too is she’s just always had
David Raubach: Yeah.
Britney Haynes: she’s very, very sisters and she had to share and she had to do all the things that normal kids do.
David Raubach: They’re close.
Britney Haynes: And my other kids, you know, they are affected by it too, really, right? Because anytime that I’m traveling for appointments, I’m away. You know, we’re having to arrange for them to either have a babysitter or whatever if I’m busy off taking care of Tilly, which I often am. So, it’s not, it’s still present. That’s what I’m saying. Like it’s still present even in their lives. And there’s so many things that they don’t question because it’s their normal. Like to them, the fact that she wears a brace, not weird at all. Like she, it’s been there since forever. It’s, it’s all they really know. So they don’t think to question it until they’re much older and they’re like, “Hey, nobody at school wears one of those. Like what’s this about?” But in other ways it does impact their life because, and they have been there, I’m sorry, you asked me a long time ago how we celebrated 5 years and those type of things. They’ve been there when we had the celebrations. They’ve been there when we’ve done walks and when we’ve done, you know, St. Jude’s.
David Raubach: Yeah. She had turned you into a runner, obviously.
Britney Haynes: Yes. I ran my first one at the 5 year celebration.
David Raubach: That’s right.
Britney Haynes: When she was 5 years out of treatment, we celebrated, celebrated is that a celebration, by putting myself completely out of my comfort zone and running a half marathon and my husband ran it with me with no preparation. And a lot of hilarity ensued with that. But Minnie was there.
David Raubach: Like stress fractures waiting to happen.
Britney Haynes: No, he probably just like walked off and was great.
David Raubach: No, he was not great.
Britney Haynes: He not great?
David Raubach: No, he was not great. He was, he was unwell.
Britney Haynes: Yeah. Unwell. But it’s always been something that we do try to acknowledge in what, however my emotions are working that day, I try to do something that is like respectful of her, me, what she’s comfortable with, what she’s comfortable saying, talking about, doing. It’s a collaboration.
David Raubach: Yeah. Well, I love the way that you described getting pregnant 10 months after your first daughter was born and you’re 4 months after you were done with treatment. You took a courageous approach and took that head on with bravery and said, “I’m not going to live in fear. I’m not going to, I’m not going to change what we hope to have with my husband and even with with Tilly as far as having siblings.”
Britney Haynes: Yeah.
David Raubach: And I
Britney Haynes: Yeah, I think, I think courage is the right word. It takes an incredible amount of courage to approach a situation like that in that manner. That’s not to say I didn’t live in fear every other day. Just not that one.
David Raubach: The fear was there, but you manifested courage and, have you ever, have you ever just stepped back and counted the number of doctors that you’ve talked to? Like I mean that’s got to be just a staggering, or the number of appointments that you’ve gone to.
Britney Haynes: But that’s probably a lot to blame on me, too, because I would be like, “Nah.”
David Raubach: Yeah, second opinion, third opinion.
Britney Haynes: Let’s go get, let’s go somewhere else. Yeah, I do that quite a lot. But, and I also feel that my expectations early on were a little bit unrealistic. Like I’m a little bit more in tune now with what’s even possible. But I truly in my mind at that time was like, “I have to find the right person and this and we will fix this.” And so it was just like this constant rotating door, but it was because I felt like that was my job. My job is to fix this. My job is to find the one person who is going to be able to, you know, work a miracle or whatever
David Raubach: is out there.
Britney Haynes: Yeah. If I just, if I just find it.
David Raubach: And that’s a terrible way to live. Like that’s a terrible pressure to live under.
Britney Haynes: It takes a lot of time, I think. Like a lot of time and work to get away from that mentality, but that was my mentality for years.
David Raubach: Well, I, but I would say, I would say to that, though, I think every patient or caretaker of a patient needs to be their own best advocate. We talk about that all the time, all the time at the Proton Center. There’s nobody that’s going to care more about your daughter than you. And that’s not to say that doctors don’t care. They do care, of course. Goes back though to what you said going out in Tulsa to doctors’ offices. They don’t know what they don’t know, and what are they telling other people? They don’t know.
Britney Haynes: That is like the number one thing that I say to almost anybody is you really, you cannot count on someone else to find the answer. You just can’t. And it’s not because maybe they’re not well intentioned. It’s not because they don’t want the best. I think that a lot of people have this trust in medicine in general that you can just go to one doctor and they definitely know everything because they’re a doctor and you can just, it’s gold, bank on it and move on. And it’s, I’m not in any way saying that they intentionally mislead whatever, nothing like that. But you do have to be your own advocate in that you are the only person who really truly knows your own case inside and out, knows the details. You’re the one living it every single day and it is somewhat a responsibility to make sure that you
David Raubach: Get that second opinion, third opinion, fourth opinion, whatever you need.
Britney Haynes: And seek out those options. And honestly for me I would say this to anyone, like a group of your peers is so so so helpful and impactful. I learned so much whenever I got into specific groups for neuroblastoma. I mean that’s when I, that’s where I still learn who’s doing what at what center, what doctor is doing, I mean that’s how I still know. The community is very very impactful in terms of knowledge and educating yourself.
David Raubach: And so you would say if, if a person has been diagnosed with cancer or has a family member who’s been diagnosed with cancer, it is important to connect with other people that either have gone through that same journey or are walking through that journey at that time.
Britney Haynes: 100% and not even just from a treatment standpoint, also from an emotional standpoint. It was really difficult for me to have a 4 month old baby going through cancer treatment when all of the friends from my birth class were, you know, talking about teething.
David Raubach: Right.
Britney Haynes: Right. And I felt mis, I didn’t feel like anyone understood. You know what I mean? And so I sought that community out for emotional need as well. I wanted to know someone else going through a similar, just if nothing else so that we can, I, who am I going to talk to about, hey, how are you changing your baby’s chemo diapers? You know, you’re not allowed to touch
David Raubach: Right.
Britney Haynes: chemo urine from a chemo patient. It’s toxic.
David Raubach: Wow.
Britney Haynes: It has chemo in it still. So you have to change their diapers a certain way. You have to wear gloves. You know, I was gloving and masking long before COVID.
David Raubach: Right.
Britney Haynes: Things that I didn’t feel like other parents could relate to.
David Raubach: Right.
Britney Haynes: And so for me seeking out that community was, oh my gosh, so helpful. Not, like I said, not just from knowledge but emotional as well. And I think the nice thing now, and even 12 years ago, but certainly now is you can find those groups online. And you almost especially had to cuz there’s not, you know, 50 other parents dealing with a 1 year old going through cancer treatment in Tulsa.
David Raubach: Right. Right. I mean, that’s, that’s you have to go nationally to find those people.
Britney Haynes: Yes. And internationally. I was emailing people in New Zealand. I talked to a mom in Greece whose daughter was diagnosed the exact same month and year as mine. Same age.
David Raubach: So I want to pivot a little bit and I do really appreciate you being so transparent about that. I know it’s not necessarily easy to talk about that topic. But you, Brittany, have done such a good job of being willing to be transparent and use your experiences as an opportunity to help other people, advocate for patients, our patients. Just, I mean, honestly, for lack of a better word, a blessing to the pediatric cancer community. You have been that and can and continue to be that.
David Raubach: So, on a lighter note, you mentioned that you were on Big Brother.
Britney Haynes: I was, yeah.
David Raubach: And when you were 22 and 24.
Britney Haynes: Mhm.
David Raubach: For the listening audience who maybe aspires to be on Big Brother, what did you have to do to get on that show?
Britney Haynes: You know what’s really funny?
David Raubach: Is it a phone number you call or is it an open casting call, which they still do that.
Britney Haynes: They still do open casting. And I actually was living in Arkansas at the time, but I did my open casting call in Tulsa.
David Raubach: Oh, okay.
Britney Haynes: Came to Tulsa, Oklahoma
David Raubach: Yeah.
Britney Haynes: to the Hard Rock Casino.
David Raubach: City, yeah. And let’s bring it all back full circle. In that video, that very first tape, basically all they had to do was walk up on the stage and say why you think you should be on Big Brother. What did you say? What did you say?
Britney Haynes: I said, I probably, I, the amount of secondhand cigarette smoke that you have exposed me to today to bring me in here for this audition, I deserve this. You now owe me. Yes. Thanks to all the exposures that you put me through today. And that is a real true story.
David Raubach: Yeah.
Britney Haynes: And that is how I got on Big Brother. Open casting back in 2010, very young, fresh out of college.
David Raubach: About secondhand smoke, yeah.
Britney Haynes: Secondhand smoke because I was already, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
David Raubach: Get your low dose CT lung scan.
Britney Haynes: Low dose.
David Raubach: Yeah, exactly. Get your low dose. If you’ve been smoking, yeah, stop smoking, but then also do follow appropriate screening recommendations.
Britney Haynes: So
David Raubach: So you did that and then you took a break and have obviously focused on raising the kids and
Britney Haynes: Yeah.
David Raubach: going through what you did with your oldest. But then you recently came back out of retirement.
Britney Haynes: That’s right. I mean, I come back out of retirement every time they ask.
David Raubach: Like a Christmas show, that’s right.
Britney Haynes: Well, first I
David Raubach: Okay, so
Britney Haynes: Well, you did the Amazing Race, too.
David Raubach: Amazing Race. I’m trying to think how Tilly would almost won that. Is that, do I remember that season correctly?
Britney Haynes: Yeah, no, I was in second place.
David Raubach: Our kids are similar ages and they were just about to turn one when you did the Amazing Race.
Britney Haynes: One, yeah.
David Raubach: So that would have, if she’s one, then Tilly would have been five.
Britney Haynes: Yeah. So I had between one and five year olds and I did Amazing Race. Real good choice, yeah.
David Raubach: Got to see a lot of the world. That’s incredible.
Britney Haynes: Got to see a lot of the world. Not particularly suited for my skill set. Running around with a backpack proved to be a little more challenging than I expected.
David Raubach: Okay, yeah.
Britney Haynes: But I did do it. I sure did. I went on the Amazing Race.
David Raubach: Check that box. Yeah. Check that box.
Britney Haynes: Actually, do you want, do, should we full circle this again?
David Raubach: Yeah.
Britney Haynes: Whenever I was on the Amazing Race in Uganda, I had a meltdown one time because I saw someone wearing, in this market, I’m in like a market in Uganda, okay, not where I would expect to see a St. Baldrick’s shirt. And St. Baldrick’s is an organization that raises money for pediatric cancer.
David Raubach: Yeah.
Britney Haynes: Total meltdown in that market.
David Raubach: Wow.
Britney Haynes: It was just, I don’t know. It just hit me. I was already in like a fragile state.
David Raubach: Yeah.
Britney Haynes: I was already just like emotionally not in a good place and I look over and I saw a Saint Baldrick’s shirt and it just kind of wrecked me a little bit. And I had a bit of a meltdown that day and then lost right after. So, yeah.
David Raubach: Yeah.
Britney Haynes: It hit hit real real hard. But anyway,
David Raubach: Yeah.
Britney Haynes: always comes back. It’s always
David Raubach: There’s always like a full circle moment.
Britney Haynes: But then after that, my next thing I think was Reindeer Games, which was like a holiday spin off of Big Brother. And that was fun and short and the kids loved it because it was family
David Raubach: That’s the one you did actually legitimately have a shot at winning.
Britney Haynes: Well, yeah, cuz there was only six people to start.
David Raubach: How long did you film that? It seemed like 5 years because we really missed you at the proton center during that 10 days.
Britney Haynes: Yeah. 10 days. And, yeah, like I said, my kids loved watching that one because it was just family friendly. It had Santa on it. You know what I mean? So they loved that one. And then it was shortly thereafter that I did Traitors.
David Raubach: So, Traitors, what is the, cuz I remember when you came to tell me, well, “I need to put in some PTO and I’m, I’m going to be gone. I don’t know when I’m going to be back. But I can’t really, I can’t tell you why I’m going to be gone.”
Britney Haynes: Yeah, I can’t tell you where I’m going or what I’m doing, but just know that I won’t have my phone with me. You won’t be able to get a hold of me and it may be a long time.
David Raubach: Of course then I could extrapolate at that point like, okay, yeah. It’s a summer sabbatical.
Britney Haynes: Yeah.
David Raubach: Yeah, like you probably weren’t like hiking in Antarctica or anything.
Britney Haynes: Right.
David Raubach: So what’s the day to day look like on the set at Traitors?
Britney Haynes: Traitors was some of the longest filming hours I ever had. It was brutal. And I thought it was bad on Reindeer Games. It was so much worse on Traitors. Long, long, super long days. Stressful.
David Raubach: Oh my gosh, it was so stressful. When are you starting filming in the morning and when are you ending?
Britney Haynes: You’re starting your days probably around 7:00 to 8:00 and then you’ll probably, we would get back to our room sometimes at 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning.
David Raubach: Oh my gosh.
Britney Haynes: All meals there, and that’s inclusive of like some sort of a challenge where you’re out in the elements and you’re running around and you know, you’re cold, whatever. I mean, you really go through it.
David Raubach: No, it, it looked
Britney Haynes: You start the day worried you’re going to die, right? You’re going to be murdered at breakfast like right before breakfast. And then once you survive that, now you have to go survive a challenge. And then once you survive that challenge, you now have to survive the banishment table.
David Raubach: Okay.
Britney Haynes: And then as soon as you finish the banishment table, you’re like, “I’m going to get my drink.” You think you’re safe, but then you might drink something that’s been poisoned and you’re out. You never know.
David Raubach: Does this sound like a good idea for my personality type to just go and do this?
Britney Haynes: Yeah. Yeah, I’d do it over and over.
David Raubach: I loved watching you on Traitors though because you stayed so true to yourself on that show. I think what a lot of the audience watching maybe didn’t know is you do kind of keep to yourself and you are kind of quiet, but you’re also very vocal when you have an opinion on something. And I think you kind of got a, not like a, what’s the, like negative connotation, but, I know you well enough to know like that was really hard for you to do.
Britney Haynes: Yeah.
David Raubach: You crushed it. And you’re around so many big personalities.
Britney Haynes: Big personalities.
David Raubach: Those personalities are huge. These are not normal people. Everyone on reality TV is a little weird. Like something’s off, something’s, something’s wrong, you know? And so you put, what’s all that second hand smoke you’re getting?
Britney Haynes: Yeah, like it’s a lot of extremes and a lot of big personalities. You’re also a very intelligent player too though and I think you kind of went into it with that gamer, is that what we call it in this world? The gamer mindset, and so you had a strategy and you stuck to it and you made it.
Britney Haynes: And that’s the essence of Big Brother.
David Raubach: To the end, right? Spoiler, sorry. That was season 3.
Britney Haynes: Yeah. Yeah, I’d like to say I came in second.
David Raubach: There were four people won
Britney Haynes: Right, and I was five. So technically I’m second place though.
David Raubach: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think so too. Runner up.
Britney Haynes: First loser.
David Raubach: First loser. Runner up. Yeah, for sure.
Britney Haynes: Runner up, yeah. Love that for me. That’s my best finish so far.
David Raubach: Man. No, that’s fantastic. So is that, do you want to keep doing shows like that?
Britney Haynes: I really enjoy it. I really do. It’s fun and I feel super lucky that I even have the opportunity to. My original season of Big Brother was so long ago. The fact that I even get a chance to do these things is crazy. That’s, I feel like not the norm. Like your average person who went on a reality show of a, a cast of 16, 15 years ago, like you’re not still seeing them pop up on something else. So I feel incredibly incredibly fortunate and
David Raubach: Career longevity, yeah. There’s a, it’s a little bit of like you know LeBron James in the NBA. People are shocked that he’s still playing and still playing at a high level. This is you in the reality TV show.
Britney Haynes: I don’t know if I’m quite LeBron. Is there like somebody lesser known that we could
David Raubach: That played for a really long time.
Britney Haynes: Time. I wonder though if you could have like a convention, like a 9 to 5, where you have, this works for you, this formula, where you’re on a reality TV show, but you’re also working at a proton center, and you’re also podcasting on your own and doing incredible at that. So
Britney Haynes: And I like, I like working like a regular job, too. I actually really really enjoy it. It ticks a lot of boxes for me and it’s not just the routine of your job. It’s not just the routine, but it’s also meaningful and impactful work and it feels helpful and it feels, there’s a little bit of do good in there, too. You know what I mean? And so, I guess I, in theory one could go get a lot of jobs. This one in particular, I felt fortunate to have to work with you guys because it is important to me. It is a message that matters, that’s meaningful, that’s helpful. I mean, it’s your community. You’re, you’re in Oklahoma. With the patients, I can, I feel a little bit that I can relate to the patients who graduate and are so, they have so much gratitude, and they’re so, their experience was so good, which makes me really happy. Even as much as sometimes we behind the scenes can be like, “Oh my gosh, like there’s this disaster.” The patients are always first, and they always leave and have had a great experience. Our disasters typically are like typos on a marketing material.
David Raubach: I got your attention. That time we spelled esophageal wrong. That was a real embarrassing moment.
Britney Haynes: Yeah, how do you spell Tuesday again? That was me.
David Raubach: But it’s very much the duck’s feet under the water, right? Like doing this and for the patients and the experience that we give them and create for them, it’s very above the water and it’s just smooth.
Britney Haynes: And that’s so important, and I know too how on a personal level how important those relationships are. Tilly’s oncologist that we met the very first day whenever she was diagnosed, to me, he’s like an angel walking on earth. There is nothing I would not do for him. He left Tulsa and went to Dallas for a while, we traveled to Dallas. I said, “We will continue to see you. No thanks on that referral. I’m going to be now driving to Dallas to see you.”
David Raubach: Providing good patient care is
Britney Haynes: It matters so much more than I think people realize. And you really feel so grateful, and you really feel so attached
David Raubach: Yeah.
Britney Haynes: to this time, this vulnerable time that you were in. Any presence that was like solid and felt hopeful and felt warm and all of those things. I see our patients have that experience at the proton center and I think that it’s super meaningful for me because I can relate to that. I have those same experiences with other people and other places whenever Tilly was going through it, and so I know how they feel.
David Raubach: Well, it takes a special doctor to work with pediatric cancer patients
Britney Haynes: Yeah.
David Raubach: and be really good at it.
Britney Haynes: Oh my god.
David Raubach: You know, and connect with the adults but also connect with the kids. I think we’re fortunate with Dr. Chang at the proton center, our medical director who treats the pediatric patients that come to Oklahoma Proton Center. He does such a good job. I mean, you ran into him, you ran into him at Target.
Britney Haynes: I did. We had a pediatric patient graduating and we try to make those really special and he was ringing the bell so I’m in there just grabbing some fun things to do at the bell ringing and I see Chang in the toy aisle. He’s just perusing looking for just a little gift to give him at his bell ringing and that’s, I mean, that’s
David Raubach: Yeah, he, above and beyond.
Britney Haynes: He popped out of work to, he was in his, all of his scrubs. He’s on his phone talking to somebody. He’s in the checkout line.
David Raubach: And it matters so much to the parents of that patient.
Britney Haynes: Yeah.
David Raubach: Like if they feel comfortable and if they feel special
Britney Haynes: Yeah.
David Raubach: to the physician, it’s just so impactful.
Britney Haynes: Yeah. And from a marketing standpoint, we couldn’t ask for a more photogenic medical director than
David Raubach: I mean, yeah. Put that man in front of a camera.
Britney Haynes: He, we do all the time. Yes, he was on the Cancer Project podcast. He was so good. We had to do two episodes with him.
David Raubach: Two episodes?
Britney Haynes: No, we couldn’t even fit it into one episode. He was so good. He puts up with us, for sure.
David Raubach: You know, obviously, we pay you really well at the proton center, which allows you to break away and do reality TV.
Britney Haynes: Yes.
David Raubach: Or take 100 vacations a year.
Britney Haynes: Or take 100 vacations. That’s what it feels like.
David Raubach: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that’s, you have like a radiologist PTO schedule. Do you get a per diem on the show? Like I know you’re going for prize money.
Britney Haynes: You nego, I mean, it’s negotiated at the front end, but obviously, like my very first season, when, of 2010, very first season Big Brother, I was 22.
David Raubach: It’s peanuts.
Britney Haynes: Yes. Like it was such like a small amount of money, but at the time, you know, I was fresh out of college. I’m like, oh, I get paid to do this. I would have done it for free.
David Raubach: Yeah, right.
Britney Haynes: This is great.
David Raubach: Yeah.
Britney Haynes: I would have done it for the free off brand generic groceries
David Raubach: Right.
Britney Haynes: that they provided me in the house. So, but then, obviously, as you get older, and you have a bit more of a resume, things do increase. But, as like a total newbie, you’re paid. You’re compensated.
David Raubach: Yeah, their attitude is you’re lucky that we even picked you.
Britney Haynes: Yeah, for sure. Yeah, so yeah.
David Raubach: Yeah. And they
Britney Haynes: Yeah, and it’s not a lot. It’s not hard out there for newbies. But, and most of the people who go on it are younger.
David Raubach: For the exposure. It’s just a fun experience. It’s a very rare experience. Like, hardly anyone gets to do that. And so, you’re hardly bothered by the paycheck.
Britney Haynes: Or if you’re going on The Bachelor, you know, you’re looking for true love.
David Raubach: True love. That’s all.
Britney Haynes: Love Island.
David Raubach: Love Island, yeah, exactly. That’s all you want.
Britney Haynes: So, The Amazing Race, like you said, that, I mean, a lot of that is about the experience and getting to travel the world, yeah.
David Raubach: Yeah, definitely. Oh, yeah, definitely. And they don’t pay
Britney Haynes: It doesn’t pay a lot, I think I lost money. I think I did.
David Raubach: I feel like you had to buy workout clothes on your own.
Britney Haynes: Like are you kidding me? Those, those Brooks shoes, those are expensive.
David Raubach: But Brooks, yeah.
Britney Haynes: Yeah, I think I lost money, but I got free trips and airline miles.
David Raubach: You got airline miles.
Britney Haynes: You got to go back and retroactively like plug in all your itineraries and get the miles, so that was helpful.
David Raubach: What was the coolest place you got to visit on The Amazing Race?
Britney Haynes: I got to go to so many cool places, and I was really excited cuz none of them were places that I had been before, but I really loved Tokyo, and I really want to go back to Tokyo. I’m like a Disney person, as you know, and on the bus going in that was our first stop. So this was like the race has just started, and we’re on the bus going into Tokyo, and I saw a Disneyland Tokyo out the window, and I was like,
David Raubach: Looking out the window.
Britney Haynes: I know. I was like, I wish I was here with my kids. I already
David Raubach: Favorite Disney princess? These are some rapid fire questions. Favorite Disney princess?
Britney Haynes: Mine is probably Elsa.
David Raubach: Okay.
Britney Haynes: Or Ariel.
David Raubach: I like Ariel, too. I’m more of a Belle person, I think.
Britney Haynes: She’s got a great book collection.
David Raubach: Oh, she does. She’s a reader.
Britney Haynes: She’s a reader. Plus, I love France. So it’s a good call.
David Raubach: Yeah, yeah, and I like castles and old architecture. And she got to live in a really cool castle.
Britney Haynes: How about I ask you some questions, David?
David Raubach: Go for it. You can ask me a question. Are you up for it? Put me on the spot. Okay. You said a question.
Britney Haynes: How many, it can be, yeah, it can be, how many chemotherapy agents exist that are developed primarily for the pediatric population?
David Raubach: That is a, that’s a question that I do not know the answer to, but I’ll take a guess. I’m going to say 10.
Britney Haynes: You’re going to say 10. Yeah. There is one
David Raubach: Okay. Wow.
Britney Haynes: in 2004. So there’s been, there’s been no chemotherapy agent specifically developed for primary use in the pediatric population since 2004.
David Raubach: Correct.
Britney Haynes: Even though the tumor types are incredibly different.
David Raubach: Yeah.
Britney Haynes: Your standard pediatric population tumor type is going to have certain genetic markers, right? It wasn’t caused by, as is the case with adults most of the time, an environmental exposure, a toxin, any type of those things. Usually in a pediatric patient population, it has specific genetic biomarkers.
David Raubach: Yeah.
Britney Haynes: At its origin, and it’s a very different tumor type. And yet, kids are still being treated with the exact same chemotherapy agents that you’re treating adults with.
David Raubach: And is that just a, I mean, I guess is that a factor of, I hate to use this word, but like capitalism? I mean, it, like the drug companies are saying, or, I mean, who, who, cuz I guess there’s got to be funding to develop those products, and
Britney Haynes: And it’s not very lucrative. There’s not that many patients and, yeah. It’s a very small patient population. It’s very rare and it’s not very lucrative for pharmaceutical companies to come up with these agents.
David Raubach: The
Britney Haynes: Yeah.
David Raubach: That seems like, that seems like a good use of, for example, like federal grants or federal funding.
Britney Haynes: Yes, and I don’t know if you’ve been watching the news.
David Raubach: Yeah.
Britney Haynes: It’s a pretty dismal time right now in terms of federal research. The Institute as an example. Which is why so, so, so important particularly for pediatrics to have independent research going on, to have independent clinical trials. And right now, a lot of immunotherapy type trials to push something forward. Because kids are still getting the exact same chemotherapy agents that you would hear if you were 70 years old and diagnosed with prostate cancer. A lot of the exact same chemotherapies. Doxorubicin is one that adult patients often complain about how harsh it is. It’s like one of the worst ones.
David Raubach: Red devil
Britney Haynes: Red devil is what it’s called. Tilly had that.
David Raubach: Oh, wow.
Britney Haynes: 8 weeks old.
David Raubach: Oh my gosh.
Britney Haynes: One of her nurses told me that she had to go to the NICU and give chemotherapy once.
David Raubach: Oh my gosh.
Britney Haynes: And these are the exact same chemotherapy drugs that we are giving the adults. Mostly developed in the ’50s to ’80s. These chemotherapy agents have not been
David Raubach: Yeah.
Britney Haynes: They’re not new. They’re old. They’re old chemotherapy agents and they’re blanket toxic chemotherapy agents and that is what kids are still being treated with today. Those are what are in the protocols today, which is really disheartening.
David Raubach: It is. There’s, there’s been a lot of advancements in the field of cancer, but there’s, there’s certain diagnoses, there’s certain subsets of cancer population. Like for example, pediatrics where maybe there hasn’t been as many advancements over the years and that’s, we’ve got to do better. We have to do better as a society, as a country, working on some of those advancements. And in Childhood Cancer Month, you’ll see a lot of times it’ll say “Go gold in September” or sometimes you’ll see the slogan “More Than Four.” And the reason that you see “More Than Four” is because 4% is the amount of funding that is put towards pediatrics.
Britney Haynes: Oh, wow.
David Raubach: Of all the cancers out there and of all the research we’re doing, kids get 4%.
Britney Haynes: Yeah. Wow.
David Raubach: So you’ll see a lot of times “we’re worth more than four” or “More Than Four.” It’s an effort to try to get more targeted research when the average adult patient is going to see a survivorship of, I don’t know, it’s probably in the 30 ish years.
Britney Haynes: Yeah.
David Raubach: The average childhood cancer survivor is going to see a survivorship in the ’70s.
Britney Haynes: Yeah, where that difference in the side effects of treatment has a much longer
David Raubach: Correct.
Britney Haynes: effect, and a much more profound effect on the person.
David Raubach: Well, I mean, A, because they’re developing, and B, cuz like you said they’re just, they’re just going to live a lot longer. They’re going to live longer. Their survivorship is longer.
Britney Haynes: Do you want to hit me with another question? I don’t know. Let me think if I
David Raubach: I have a question for you. I’ll get you back for that. It’s like a cyclotron question. So, well, I’ve got a cyclotron question for you. This is a, you would have heard me say this 4,000 times on cyclotron tours. How fast is the proton traveling when it comes out of the cyclotron?
Britney Haynes: It’s like at our facility. I don’t know. 98% the speed of light, or there’s some percentage to the speed of light.
David Raubach: Yes. That, so that’s correct. There’s the, there’s a ratio, there’s a ratio and it’s related to the speed of light.
Britney Haynes: Okay.
David Raubach: It’s not going quite that fast.
Britney Haynes: Okay, it’s not 98.
David Raubach: No.
Britney Haynes: 90?
David Raubach: No.
Britney Haynes: 80? Is it like four times the speed of light or something?
David Raubach: It’s a fraction of the speed of light. It’s, it’s 2/3 the speed of light.
Britney Haynes: David. The answer is super super super fast.
David Raubach: Good question. 2/3 the speed of light.
Britney Haynes: Okay, 2/3 the speed of light.
David Raubach: 120,000 mi per second.
Britney Haynes: Mhm.
David Raubach: The circumference of the Earth is 25,000 mi.
Britney Haynes: Mhm.
David Raubach: So, that means at 120,000 mi per second that proton can get almost five times around the Earth in 1 second. So, snap your finger. That’s how fast, 98%. It’s clear
Britney Haynes: Yeah, it’s, we’re splitting hairs.
David Raubach: Yeah. At that point
Britney Haynes: Tomato, tomato.
David Raubach: Exactly. Yeah. At that point it’s going so fast it’s almost unfathomably fast. It’s hard for our minds to process that something could circle the Earth five times in 1 second. But then what’s amazing is we can stop that proton inside a tumor with millimeter precision. We can say, “This is where we want to stop it.” And it’s going to stop within, at that Bragg
Britney Haynes: At the Bragg peak, yeah, exactly. William H. Bragg
David Raubach: William H. Bragg.
Britney Haynes: I did, I see, I didn’t remember his middle initial, so.
David Raubach: I mean, I can still remember his black and white photo.
Britney Haynes: Yeah.
David Raubach: I don’t know his little graph next to it.
Britney Haynes: I don’t know his
David Raubach: Pick him out of a lineup. There’s like two photos online of him.
Britney Haynes: Yeah, right. I don’t know his middle name. I’m going to go with Horatio.
David Raubach: I’m going to go with Herman.
Britney Haynes: Herman. I was going to say like Harold.
David Raubach: So, we have a Harold, a Horatio, and a Herman. I’m going with Herman.
Britney Haynes: All right, we’re going to look that up.
David Raubach: Double down. We’re going to look that up after the podcast, so.
Britney Haynes: Okay.
David Raubach: Well, I really appreciate you coming on today. I don’t think that there’s very many people like you in the world that have
Britney Haynes: You’re right. You probably mean it in a positive way.
David Raubach: I do. I mean it in all the ways.
Britney Haynes: Okay.
David Raubach: No, I mean somebody, in every way possible.
Britney Haynes: Yeah.
David Raubach: Yeah. Somebody who’s had the experiences that you’ve had in the entertainment world, has raised a beautiful family, has gone through pediatric cancer, or a treatment of a kid, and is also giving back in the way that you’re giving back now.
Britney Haynes: I know, and now you made me remember something else I wanted to say. Okay. Can I just interrupt you again?
David Raubach: Yeah, go for it.
Britney Haynes: I will say, here’s what I will say in response. Thank you very much, first of all. Thank you for the compliment. There was a time soon after her diagnosis and her treatment that I really, because my personality type is very dry and sarcastic.
David Raubach: Heavy on the sarcasm.
Britney Haynes: Lots of jokes, okay? I love to tell a joke, and it’s all about the punchline. There was a time where I felt a little bit like lost in what my new identity was going to be. Like, how was I going to marry these two ideas? How was I going to still be my old self who makes fun of everything, you know, is self-deprecating and known for your witty sense of humor and your one-liners and everything is so serious. But then how am I also going to be a mom of a childhood cancer survivor who’s been so deeply affected and, you know, gone through this very, very heavy experience, and how can these two people like exist in the same person? And there was so long that I worried that I wouldn’t like never be back. Like I would never be able to fully go back to just being basically stupid. Like, you know, just like lowbrow, sarcastic.
Britney Haynes: Yeah, I really worried for that because I thought I don’t know how I can have gone through this and have felt all the things that I felt and then, you know, go out and be performative and try to be funny and, you know, fight for Santa’s. There was a lot of times, there was a long time I should say, where that was really difficult for me and where I was kind of grappling with if I would ever really get back to it. If I would really ever be the same, because it is that impactful and it is that soul crushing, and I’m very happy and feel very blessed that Tilly is healthy and that she’s doing well and that she’s, you know, such a great kid, and that she’s been able to take it and take ownership of it so beautifully and that she has the heart that she does, that she’s the person that she is.
Britney Haynes: Could I have ever gotten back to it in another scenario? I don’t know. I really don’t know. I think there’s a metamorphosis that occurs when you go through cancer.
David Raubach: A few weeks back, you showed me that quote from Princess Catherine, not Princess Kate. I learned that when we had the UK family here. It’s Princess, Princess Catherine, not Kate. And she talked about, you know, she’s gone through cancer treatment, and she talked about being a new person.
Britney Haynes: And basically, there’s, there’s the before and then there’s the after, and who I was before, there’s, there’s elements of that in the after, but there’s always going to be this, again, metamorphosis or evolution in you
David Raubach: Into something else.
Britney Haynes: Something else. You are taking portions of yourself from before going through something as traumatic as a pediatric cancer diagnosis. But then, yeah, I don’t know.
David Raubach: I guess I’ve not gone through that, but I’ve heard a lot of patients at our facility talk about that. It’s a really strange thing.
Britney Haynes: Yeah, and it just took a lot of time for me. It just took a lot of time. And eventually, I felt like I got there, but it was a very gradual process. And like I said, also because I was able to bring her in on the conversations and sort of as she got older, you know, share a little bit more. And so, that I think made it easier, too. But it is, it is something that you go through that is very odd.
David Raubach: Well, I’m hopeful, too, just sitting here talking to us today, people see this other side of you that isn’t just stupid or what, as you called yourself, you’re not. These witty one-liners, you’re funny, but this is just such a profound part of your life, and hopefully this is something people will take away.
Britney Haynes: Funny GIFs, too.
David Raubach: If you, is it GIFs? Is it GIFs or GIFs? I don’t know.
Britney Haynes: I don’t know.
David Raubach: If you, what do you, for those of you out there that need some great gifts, just Google Britney Haynes gif or Britney Haynes Big Brother gif. There’s some great ones out there.
Britney Haynes: There are. I just feel like I can’t use them because it just feels so narcissistic to insert like a gif of yourself into a conversation. I can’t do it. But I do know that they exist. Specifically the crunch face one.
David Raubach: Oh, yeah.
Britney Haynes: Yeah, yeah.
David Raubach: You’ve sent that to me before when I’ve sent you a text about something that was really important to get done at work and then I got a gif back of Britney cringing.
Britney Haynes: Yeah, so
David Raubach: My kids love the one where you’re like doing that.
Britney Haynes: See, I like to send that one, too. My kids love all the gifs. They think that is like one of the best parts.
David Raubach: I don’t get paid for that, by the way.
Britney Haynes: Oh, you don’t get royalties.
David Raubach: Yeah, it doesn’t, you don’t get. No, I wish. I wish that’d be so good.
Britney Haynes: I know, yeah. Then you would be using your own gifs at that point, yeah.
David Raubach: It would be in excess.
Britney Haynes: Yeah, I would bring up like 10 iPhones that did nothing but
David Raubach: Yeah, all day every day.
Britney Haynes: Exactly, yeah.
David Raubach: Well, like I said, Britney, thank you so much for taking the time today, and for those of our audience who want to check out your podcast or your Patreon,
Britney Haynes: Yeah, my Patreon page where I’m currently discussing Big Brother 27. There’s a season of Big Brother happening right now. Actually, one of the contestants is someone who was on season 12 with me back in 2010. And she’s in the house this summer.
David Raubach: Oh, wow.
Britney Haynes: So, it’s super fun. It’s patreon.com/britneyhaynes. Really funny. And yeah.
David Raubach: I mean, that’s what, that’s, that’s the coverage.
Britney Haynes: Yeah. That’s where you can find me. And then on all socials, I’m britney_haynes.
David Raubach: Yeah. Perfect. OKC Pro Time. So, what’s her social?
Britney Haynes: Oh, yeah. I know, I get, I’m going to get to promote this podcast. Yeah. Yeah. By myself. Yeah. I get to promote my own self.
David Raubach: Write like a third party comment. Like Britney Haynes says that this was the most amazing guest we’ve had so far.
Britney Haynes: Yeah, like this was a real treat.
David Raubach: Big booker.
Britney Haynes: Might have put together the perfect podcast episode. Check it out.
David Raubach: Yeah, truly.
Britney Haynes: Exactly. I know, I get to promote it. It’s going to be like that.
David Raubach: That’s it. I’m going to boost that post. I’ll give you the corporate card so you can do that.
Britney Haynes: That’s perfect. Put a lot of money behind this.
David Raubach: Yeah.
Britney Haynes: Yeah, good.
David Raubach: All right, well, thank you. Thank you, guys. That’ll be a wrap.
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